Thoughts crystallized as words.

Refined

2011-11-23T11:52:00.001+08:00

Had a revelation as I walked around in Jurong Point after lunch yesterday. Here it is:

That without the trying temptations testing me through the past 2 years, I'd not have gotten as close to God as I now am.

Conclusion:
As much as I try to pray them away, beseeching God to take them away, I cannot deny that these times have been like the proverbial furnace and I the gold have certainly been refined.

Simple but it sure took a lot to get to this point.

Gonna share it with Celeste tomorrow even as I join her for a swim and dinner. I hope she gets it.

Not much to say today, just the above. So there.

The Media and Me

2011-11-18T14:03:00.001+08:00

The media has such an extraordinary influence on our lives it's amazing.

I think for the most part, we're passive consumers of whatever the media feeds us. Be it news, entertainment, informational documentaries or exposes, cartoons, music videos, etc. However, I have recently begun to be perceive more critically the effects the media has on me.

As such, I have made a commitment to only watch films rated G or PG and nothing above. For the next 1 year.

I feel that films rated NC-16, M18 or R21 in Singapore have content that do not increase the value of the film. How can sex, violence or vulgar language add more to a film that it already is? It just devalues it. And we're paying to watch rot really. To put it bluntly.

I was recently watching a Sy Rogers DVD titled, Lessons Learnt Volume 2 and it really made me think.

Why would a regular 20-something guy or girl think it's alright to engage in heavy petting and have a little touchy-feely session on a date? Not just the average Joe, but even the regular Christian.

Because the media portrays it to be so.

But what it really is is foreplay. So why are we surprised when pre-martial sex starts occuring when you prime yourself for it?

And since we've been fed Hollywood fare since we were born, we don't think twice about whatever the media shows us. We assume that it is only showing us the current state of affairs as it is. What the world really is like.

When the truth is that the media is showing us what they want us to think what the world is like.

We wonder why we struggle so with lust when the answer is clear.

It's the things we see and the sounds we hear.

We look and we lust and we leer.

And then we fear.

The judgement of God, the one we hold so dear.

This is a result of watching a series of five sets of 2pm Music Videos. I feel like making stuff rhyme.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Rachel out.

Depression

2011-11-15T11:21:00.001+08:00

I met up with a friend from cell group last night and just listened. I was tempted to dish out advice and did so once or twice, but eventually the Holy Spirit told me just to listen. And I did. He probably just needed a listening ear.

He is suffering from depression.

It's interesting how many people in my cell group had or is suffering from depression. I do feel for them having been through it myself.

Depression is a deep, dark and terrible thing.

You feel like you're sinking in an abyss, in a hole you're unable to climb out of.

You start talking less, or not at all, and feel irritated and helpless when people around start asking why you're not talking. So note, don't ask people why they're not talking. Just talk to them. Initiate conversation.

You begin to want to spend all of your day sleeping. Cos sleep helps pass the time. The terrible time that passes by ever so slowly.

You then stay in your house as much as you can, unwilling to step into the outside world. The outside world where people would ask you why you are not talking. Do you begin to see why you should not ask that question?

Some become suicidal. That's typical, seeing that life is a rather hopeless situation that you can't get out of. What is the purpose of life anyway?

I'm glad I came out of that. And I try to keep myself upbeat. I rely so much on God. The joy of the Lord is indeed my strength.

So many people tell me that I have such a sense of humour, or that I seem cheerful all the time. That's because I have gone through some pretty dark times and I'm relishing the life that I currently enjoy.

Depression is a recurrent illness.

So there. I am very grateful for my dear friend Shiqi who kept asking me out to gym, for a movie, for a meal. She was so amazing. And she just kept talking to me even when I was quiet. That made me talk a bit more. I am thankful for my church, for the worship. You know, I always felt the presence of God during worship. For the word, Pastor Kong sure preached strong despite the bout of depression he was going through.

Well, this is just yet another stream-of-consciousness post.

Gotta go.

11.11.11

2011-11-14T13:02:00.001+08:00

The day has come and gone. And more than the many birthday presents received (Courtesy of asking and receiving via a very explicit Facebook birthday wishlist) I realised that what I treasured the most was quality time spent with friends and family.

Now I understand why our pastors always say that "The Kingdom of God is a kingdom of relationships."

Because essentially, people are God-in-flesh. We are all created in the image of God. And we can depend on Jesus to receive salvation but to move on in daily sanctification, we require the help of fellow Christians around us to disciple us, encourage us, exhort us, comfort and love us. To grow in God.

I am so thankful for City Harvest Church because of the friendships forged there.

It is truly amazing how God intertwines the lives of different people. I think God is incredible. His timing is absolutely perfect. His handprints on our lives are indelible.

This is so fun. I forgot how fun blogging was. Tumblr should be balanced with this. I like Tumblr cos it's so very visual, with the images and all. It's kinda like what you get when you cross Twitter and Blogger.

Well, all in all, this is the first birthday in many years that I am truly happy enjoying every moment of it.

Thank you Jesus.

Rachel's 2011 Material Birthday Wishlist!

2011-10-06T12:39:00.002+08:00

Dear friends, it's almost a month to my birthday and I thought it'd be nice if I used the principles I do in class to my wishlist. To be direct and explicit that is. So no random guesses, no unwanted presents, no awkward moments. I believe very much in the phrase, "ask and you will receive". ;)

But of course, for those on a budget, a warm hug or a sincere letter will touch my heart just as much as any of these. Cross my heart.

Here goes! (In order of most desired item to the least. One item for each year of my life. Haha.)

1. The Bait of Satan by John Bevere

2. Undercover by John Bevere

3. Honor's Reward by John Bevere

4. Capo

5. Singapore Flyer Ride with Anna, Shiqi, Celeste and Pauline

6. Rajaratnam’s Short Stories and Plays

7. The Economist subscription

8. A book on America’s Forefathers

9. Sungha Jung’s 1st solo album - Perfect Blue

10. Sungha Jung’s 2nd solo album - Irony

11. Mood Swings - Ronald Fieve

12. Nature Geographic subscription

13. Biography of Billy Graham

14. Biography of Nelson Mandela

15. Biography of Ronald Reagan

16. Girlfriendship - Mary Simpson

17. Yellow Converse Sneakers

18. C’est La V - Van Ness Wu

19. Born This Way - Lady Gaga

20. Reverse Bungee Ride

21. Cute rabbit stuffed toy

22. 优周刊 subscription

23. 联合早报 subscription

24. The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire - Edward Gibbon

Counting my blessings

2011-09-27T10:36:00.002+08:00

Haven't done this in a long time, so I thought I'd count my blessings and come back to look at this post whenever I am feeling low. So here goes!

1. I'm thankful I've got a roof over my head, a home to go back to at night.
2. I'm thankful for my mom, dad and my gugu sister.
3. I'm grateful for a job with a rather late reporting time.
4. I'm grateful for lovely colleagues like Cara, Sharen, Sumathi, Safinah, Panny, Zaiton, Gayathri and Suja.
5. I'm thankful that I get along well with my bosses at work.

6. I'm thankful for interesting students that I get to educate and learn from all at the same time.
7. I'm awfully grateful for City Harvest Church that Pastor Kong founded.
8. I'm really thankful I've awesome friends like Celeste, Shiqi and Anna whom I can pour my heart out to.
9. I'm thankful for my incredible sister Audrey who is growing more intelligent and wiser day by passing day.
10. I'm grateful for my cell leader Pauline and all she's done for me.

11. I'm thankful that my body is whole and healthy and that I can run, talk, sing and swim without much difficulty.
12. I'm thankful for my bunch of MSE mates who made university life more bearable. Special thanks goes out to Hui Kai, Pei Lee, Mikail, Seok Kean, Rui Qi, Kai Fen, Erwin, Thet and many, many more.
13. I'm thankful that I managed to survive and complete my Final Year Project and thesis with my mentor, Professor Blackwood.
14. I'm grateful to be able to have the privilege of attending 4 years of school at NUS. No matter what, it still was an intensive learning experience.

15. I'm grateful for friends like Bertrand, Kenneth, Rochelle, Anna and Jieyun who taught me how to rely on God in the period in university.
16. I'm thankful for opportunity to setup stall in the NUS flea markets and sell $2000 worth of clothes in 4 weeks. And for all who made that possible. Audrey, Chevonne, Anna, Elliot, Song Jie and everyone who bought stuff from me!
17. I had an interesting time as Vice President of NUS MSE SIG. If you know what that is, then kudos to you!
18. Thankful that I managed to conquer Organic Chemistry and University Mathematics eventually. CM1101 and MA1505, you have been defeated!
19. And that I managed to scrape through learning the computer language C as well.
20. Loved the time spent in the labs as well. Had a hell of a time messing around with my friends. Did I tell you my FYP involved cyanide? Of course I didn't handle it myself, Prof Blackwood helped me with it in case I poisoned myself.

21. I'm thankful for the opportunity to attend my first ever Linkin Park concert 2 days ago.
22. I'm thankful for great music to listen to daily.
23. I'm thankful to an abundance of sermons I can listen to that encourages me daily.
24. I'm thankful for friends I can text when I feel lousy, friends who love me unconditionally and make me laugh at silly nonsense.
25. I'm thankful I know You, God. :)

My first ever concert

2011-09-26T12:39:00.000+08:00

Last night at 10.30pm, I attended my first ever concert with my good MSE pal Hui Kai. Like the first ever album I bought, it was Linkin Park that brought the house down for me yesterday.

They were part of the 2011 Singtel Singapore Grand Prix and were the highlight of the evening. We attended the flag off at 8pm at the Bay Grandstand and had a spectacular view from Row 57, Seat 66 right at the back. It was of the Marina Bay Sands and the Art-Science Museum and a bit of the Singapore Flyer. And the Singapore Skyline. It sure was real pretty to look at.

Well, after 6-9 laps, we kinda got bored and proceeded to the Padang stage to wait another 2 more hours before the concert started. There were already hordes of people sitting down on the Padang watching the race from the humongous Giant LED screen they put up there.

Awesome stuff. We waited and melted in the heat with Joanna and Melvin, two new friends I made at the Padang.

Should have joined LPU to get Fan Zone passes. They were so much closer to the stage then we were. I was like 100m away from the stage. But it still was good.

At 10.40pm, they crowd screamed. "Linkin Park! Linkin Park! Linkin Park!"

They opened with a brilliant display of lights perfectly timed to the drumbeat and the first song of the night was New Divide. I didn't know the lyrics to that song but it was still really good.

And then, the show began!

What separated the crowd from the hardcore fans was the fact that the latter could rap/sing to the entire song while the former could only chant the chorus.

I was blown away when they did, What I've Done, In The End and Numb.

The crowd literally went wild and the atmosphere was electrifying!

They sang so loud it was even better than any church service/football match you could go to.

Now I know why Pastor Kong talks about music concerts being like a worship event. Amazing stuff I tell you.

All in all, it was a fantastic experience. My first and last outdoor concert.

We were positively steaming in the heat. I now know what a pao feels like in the steamer.

So glad when it ended at midnight.

We went home basking in the afterglow of an exhilarating experience that only a Linkin Park concert could bring. :)

The $150 was money well-spent. :)

Fun night out with the cousin and cousin-in-law

2011-07-04T00:18:00.000+08:00

I've just arrived home not too long ago from VivoCity after spending a great night out with Audrey, Eliz and Ben. I never knew we'd click so well and effortlessly till tonight. And I learnt so much about myself and them it was so amazing. I think skipping the Transformers movie was the best decision ever and we ended up chatting till 11pm and would have gone on if not for the fact that Pacific Coffee Company was closing.

I realized my primary love language is probably not words of affirmation unlike my cousin and learnt a lot about myself from the ever observent Ben. And the best part of the evening? The fact that we had so much fun laughing non stop over a myriad of things! The things we talked about. Oh they were so serious yet frivolous at the same time!

And the ride back home was the cherry. We rode on the back of their pickup and had the most exhilarating journey home. I felt like I'd laughed the stress and tension of the week away in that 6 hours with them. I feel extremely blessed to know and do life together with such friends. :)

It was certainly quite an experience. ;)

What I needed

2011-07-01T23:43:00.001+08:00

I guess what I really needed wasn't a heart to heart talk with Celeste or Shiqi nor receiving hugs from them after all. I just needed the presence of God, a "hug" from Jesus if you like. It felt so real and it felt so good.

The presence of God was so strong today in cell group. I'm not sure if it was just me but it sure felt good. Though I still crave for the heart to heart sharing.

Patricia sure preached a word in season. What you sow to the flesh you reap corruption and what you sow to the Spirit will reap everlasting life. I need to stop sowing to the flesh and start fasting again I suppose. I haven't fasted since I last fell prey to mycoplasma and that was a year ago.

So, here we go again. I'm glad to have you and you and you and you in my life though you'll all probably not see this post anytime soon.

I feel kinda like a teenager again with all this late night blogging except that I persist in writing in sentences instead of acronyms and use blogger instead of tumblr. I guess that's why I can relate to my teenage students. Am young at heart and in lifestyle as well. :)

Hong Kong 2011

2011-06-27T14:16:00.000+08:00

I think God's been really good to me. I'm not particularly attuned to the voice of God still, but keep stumbling into things, and this last minute Hong Kong trip during the June school holidays has really refreshed me.

It all began with a night out with Angeline who extolled the virtues of Hong Kong even as she was planning an upcoming trip in the first week of June. Then I posted on Twitter and Cheuk Ying replied. One thing led to another and before I knew it, my leave was approved and I'd booked a flight up north.

I must confess that I'm not a typical touristy tourist. For me, company matters more than anything. And part of the reason I chose Hong Kong over Taiwan was because of Cheuk Ying and Lee Nam.

Sometimes I really do wonder if dopamine causes joy, or whether laughter invoked, or joy comes before dopamine's released. Either way, I'd a good heart to heart talk with Cheuk Ying and it was awesome. It was so good to meet up with Lee Nam, one of two closest friends I'd made in SOT 2 years back.

It was such a good trip, I think it's the best trip in my life thus far. :) I really do believe that relationships with Christ at the center are the ones that are the most meaningful.

Well, Term 3 of the Academic Year begins today and I've gotta be a good steward of God over the students He's placed under my care. I'll trust in the Lord and lean on the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to prepare my lessons. Gonna let joy reign this term instead of stress.

And here's to my book-in-progress too! Hope to get more of it done this term even as I ease into being a first-rate Educational Therapist.

Intersection

2011-06-07T10:12:00.001+08:00

Once, I heard a sermon and a line that most impressed me was this - Where your talent and the needs of the world intersect, therein lies your purpose in life. I suppose it was striking because I am a person who wonders a lot about purpose.

Ever since before O levels as I pored over my biology textbook for the umpteenth time, I pondered about what the purpose of studying was. Would I ever use it? Would it be applicable to my life? Why bother if it wasn't? Especially mathematics. As I memorized one esoteric formula after another, particularly during the period preceding my A levels, I wondered why I had to learn all of it.

Someone once said the purpose of all of that was not really the formulae in themselves, but in cultivating the discipline that came with learning all of that. Right. I can see the logic behind it, but not very much. Dr Goh Keng Swee, the late, one-time Education Minister once commented that the education system in Singapore was catered to the top 12% of each cohort. Hence streaming. I think it's much better now, with the establishment School of the Arts and the Sports School and all, but sometimes I wonder still about the relevance of what we're studying.

That aside, I suppose am somewhat clearer about my purpose. And though I see through a glass darkly, and I can't really tell what my destiny is, I take each day, one step at a time, believing that I am being guided by God. In the Bible, the many kings in the Chronicles have always been led by the prophecies of various men of God that were sent. And there have been prophets in my life. I hold on to their prophecies, knowing that the calling and gifts of God are irrevocable. And that's how I'll lead my life.

One step at a time.

One step at a time will this pilgrim take. :)

Everything happens for a reason

2011-06-01T23:28:00.001+08:00

I'm just back, freshly showered after a great night out with my dearest cousin Elizabeth. We had a simple yet kinda sumptuous dinner of ribs at Cafe Cartel and then headed to watch Kung Fu Panda 2.

It was a short and funny show.

I remember in Kung Fu Panda 1, the line that struck me the most was this - Everything happens for a reason. That somehow resonated within me. I really believe that.

In this second instalment, what I remembered the most was the joke near the end between Panda Po and Peacock Shen.

Shen: How can you have inner peace? I scarred you for life!

Po: Scars heal.

Shen: Scars don't heal. Wounds heal.

Guffaws! I do love wordplay. It can make an otherwise vapid lesson highly entertaining.

Well, we had a good conversation over dinner. She's one of the few people that I can warm up quickly to other than my Monday date. I guess it's maybe because she is non-threatening?

I think I do take myself too seriously sometimes. It's good to hang out with the ever jovial Elizabeth and Benjamin. They are a couple with a ready sense of humour, especially Ben.

Milestone

2011-05-31T21:25:00.004+08:00

It's been 10 weeks of teaching, cumulating in a week of PTC or Parent-Therapist Conference. Whew! What an experience it has been.

I must reduce the negative self talk that says that I feel like an incompetent teacher and encourage myself. I am putting in effort. I am a good teacher who cares for her students.

It was enlightening and humbling meeting all the parents. Enlightening because they provided a different perspective, a deeper insight into the lives, behaviour and motivations of my students. It makes it easier to know which areas I should focus on in the next term and also how to better encourage and spur them on to greater things.

And many parents said that their children have shown great improvement in the time they are at DAS and they really enjoy coming for lessons. Some even more than school. Wow! It makes me happy to hear all of that. Credit goes to all their previous teacher. I can only claim 10 weeks worth of it.

Humbling because I can appreciate the various difficulties my students face academically and the emotional turmoil not just on the student's part, but their parents as well.

I am learning more than ever before. I just need to translate that education into quality lessons.

I need to be more firm and stern as well.

I can now also better appreciate what my teachers went through many years ago. Preparing reports, meeting parents, preparing lessons, marking attendance, dealing with other administrative issues.

Well, I am thankful for this job, my wonderful and friendly colleagues, my lovely students, and an office I can decorate. Though I need more inspiration with the decor.

Can't imagine how much joy the arrival of the June holidays brought about. There was a buzz in the air in the last week of classes. Don't know if the students or the teachers were more excited.

;)

Wedding

2010-12-20T14:40:00.001+08:00

My cousin just got married last night. I thought it was really special. Why? Perhaps because even though we're not the closest, growing up together, meeting each other every chinese new year made this wedding a different one from the rest.

Looking at Elizabeth and Benjamin, it seemed like they came straight out of a fairytale. Good-looking, grateful, generous, gracious, they were positively radiant last night.

Wished I could have seen the matrimony though. But it was a good experience as a receptionist.

Still feeling the effects of last night. Like a beautiful afterglow.

What a year it has been.

2010-11-16T14:18:00.002+08:00

What a year it has been.

My voice

2010-10-12T21:01:00.001+08:00

Let's go!

I realised that in recent times, I've lost my voice once again. But after a stimulating afternoon with Rochelle ending with a conversation with deeply shared experiences, I've recovered part of my voice.

One of the many things we talked about was something Audrey, my lovely sister Down Under mentioned. She told me how it was only there that she discovered how similarly Singaporeans tend to think.

I suppose that's why creativity and innovation's a prized asset these days. Sometimes I wish I was hypomanic again, had a lot more digital downloads from above, but I sure thank God that's over. Made many mistakes and learnt from them. But nothing's ever wasted. :)

So, let's talk about something more in depth shall we?

We're shaped and are a reflection of those whom we're closest to. People have influence over us, whether great or small. That's why best friends are so alike. It maybe that their similarities brought them together at first, but perhaps due to circumstances, or deliberately chosen, they spend time together and end up more of a reflection of the other than ever before.

Ever seen a loving couple that's been together for a really long time? They start to twin out. :)

So, friends must be chosen wisely. That's because your minds will come together as one more and more. You will end up thinking, feeling, even acting like the one you're around the most. It's a subtle process. Even if you try to reject it, your mind responds and emulates what it sees, hears, feels and tastes the most often.

So in a sense, you can be more and more of a great person if you hang around one frequently enough.

And then again, reading widely is so important. Because there's only so much of yourself you can offer to your friend, or even your spouse.

We need to constantly enrich ourselves, broaden our mindsets, widen our horizons. Out of school, it's even more important to read. Widely. Things that interest you, things that are relevant, things that increase our knowledge base. Because knowledge is so very important.

How can you think out of the box if you don't know how wide, tall, or deep the box is?

Things need to change around here. And how to bring change if no one's got no ideas? Ideas, new things, they bring life to what was once dead and lifeless. We are meant to have a constant inflow of ideas that lead to an output executing them. We're meant to be creative. Let's get our act together once again.

Sameness is boring. Look at the infinite variety of plants and leaf shapes, the amazing kinds of food and flavours, the sheer quantity of 6 billion people, all different and unique that's around, that's been created. Awesome.

Well, that's Rachel's ramble for today. Shall go back to practising what Rochelle taught me today on the guitar!

新发现！

2010-08-28T13:33:00.005+08:00

新发现！
虽然她已经出道22年了，我才刚发现郑秀文。

音乐
我也发现音乐是能够跨越文化，语言。:) 我也发现一位音乐家的个人的风格是通过她的音乐表达出来。我觉得郑秀文可以说是亚洲的 Lady Gaga!　她们两都有自己的独立风格，勇敢的在音乐，服装，表达出来。

见证
在YouTube听着她的见证，非常鼓励。因为她也是刚胜过忧郁症，所以听了超感动。

文化职任
但是，她更其他人不同 - 她可是超级巨星！所以，我想象，为了庆祝，也为了感谢上帝，她出了一个福音专辑，也开了个演唱会。

我最近一直在看她的中文MV，广东MV, 演唱会的Videos, 越看越喜欢。:)

从香港来参加亚洲特会的好友也送我她的最新专辑。太感动了！

虽然还有很多话要说，但是还是让你欣赏她的音乐吧。

Enjoy!

Welcome To My Life - Simple Plan

2010-08-06T16:20:00.002+08:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down; do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong and no one understands you?

Do you ever wanna run away? Do you lock yourself in your room, with the radio on turned up so loud that no one hears you screaming?

No you don't know what it's like, when nothing feels all right. You don't know what it's like to be like me.

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down; to feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save you. No you don't know what it's like, welcome to my life.

Do you wanna be somebody else; are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate; are you sick of everyone around? With their big fake smiles and stupid lies, while deep inside you're bleeding.

No you don't know what it's like, when nothing feels all right. You don't know what it's like to be like me.

No one ever lied straight to your face, no one ever stabbed you in the back. You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay. Everybody always gave you what you wanted; you never had to work it was always there. You don't know what it's like, what it's like.

Welcome to my life

Thanksgiving

2010-07-24T21:48:00.001+08:00

I am in a valley. No doubt about that. Yet I will persist in thanksgiving. Because God is so good to me. Let's begin.

So, in this time of struggle and frustration because of all the bipolar and SSA nonsense, I want to thank 3 very special friends who've helped me through the past 3 months, in alphabetical order now.

Anna, thank you for your direct, frank, honest comments and advice. And all your encouraging texts. Words aren't enough to express my gratitude.

Celeste, thank you for listening. It is my honour to share your burden because you shared mine. Thank you for all the wise counsel and telling me you care. It means a lot to me.

Shiqi, thank you for your daily texts since like two weeks back? It helped. A lot. And for all the godly counsel and practical advice. What would I do without you? And for the SOT OPM you invited me to.

In a multitude of counselors there is great wisdom indeed.

Next, I want to thank God for my lovely, gorgeous and awesome sister who's back from Down Under. Thank you for treating me to all those meals and telling me all that you told me.

Finally, I'd like to thank God for giving me a job and two bosses that really taught me what the spirit of excellence is. Robin and Valerie, thank you. :) You guys are awesome.

Thank you for Finna for your continual smiles and ever jovial mood, Jaslyn for laughing with me and Yoseph and Yi Fei for your company.

I feel like I'm in some sort of fiery furnace, yet I know I will come forth as gold once this ordeal's over. So help me Lord.

Oh yes! How could I forget you? Sun. Thank you for that warm hug a month ago. Thank you for all that you've done. I begin to see the magnitude of your work. The purpose. Thank you for your love. :)

10 Commandments - Rachel's Remix :)

2010-07-13T13:20:00.002+08:00

Check this out: "I hate rules, that's why I only created 10." - God

Enjoy DJ Rachel's Remix!

#1 Love God. God who is your Creator, Provider, Teacher, Saviour, Guide, Father, Friend, Lord, Almighty, Problem Solver, Judge, Life Giver:D
12:40 PM May 17th via web

#2 No Idols. What's yr idols? Idol = Strict Pharisaical Religious rules, Mom, Dad, Kids, Job, Fame, Fortune, Girls, Boys, Food, TV, Rest? :D4:25 PM May 18th via web

#3 No using God's name in vain. Intentionally. Try "Oh my goodness" instead of the usual. Haha it sounds more classy to boot. :D
3:03 PM May 19th via web

#4 Work 6 days, rest 1 day. Rest = Chill out, Let your hair down, Movies! Go for a drink, freshly squeezed orange juice or a screwdriver. :D9:31 AM May 20th via web

#5 Respect your parents. Too many break #4 and #5. Of course, respect doesn't necessarily equate to agree and obey. Follow the order in E.21
2:43 PM Jun 14th via web

#6 Don't murder. That's simple enough. Wanna know why? Cos lives are precious. Including yours :)
10:10 AM Jun 15th via Snaptu

#7 Don't cheat on your spouse. Sexually, emotionally, mentally. You get the idea:) Pretty simple for those unmarried. Challenge comes after.
3:04 PM Jun 25th via web

#8 Don't steal. If music/video downloads ain't stealing, then why do so many people rush to justify themselves when confronted? Hmm...
4:10 PM Jun 28th via web

#9 Don't lie about your neighbour (and sabo him). Neighbour means your friend la, Singapore's so small, everyone's your neighbour. Hahaha!
10:35 AM Jun 30th via web

#10 Don't die die also want your neighbour's stuff. His wife, his maid, Toyota or Lexus. Your neighbour's stuff's yr neighbour's stuff can?10:37 AM Jul 9th via web

Twitter's totally terrific!

Rachel's Top 23!

2010-06-04T16:55:00.040+08:00

I never got why people post up lyrics on their blogs. Why not be original and think of something funny, witty or intelligent to put up instead of copying another's?

Now I do. Well written songs RESONATE with their listeners. That's why the music business' so big! Haha, so here's Rachel's Top 23, one song for each year of her life and a running commentary for my reader.

Lyrics that resonate within me are coloured and in bold. :)

In chronological order.

Here we go!

1．Show me the meaning of being lonely – Backstreet Boys

Show me the meaning of being lonely.

So many words for the broken heart, it's hard to see in a crimson love, so hard to breathe, walk with me, and maybe. Nights of light so soon become, wild and free I could feel the sun; your every wish will be done. They tell me,

Show me the meaning of being lonely. Is this the feeling I need to walk with? Tell me why I can't be there where you are? There's something missing in my heart.

Life goes on as it never ends. Eyes of stone observe the trends, they never say, forever gaze upon me. Guilty roads to an endless love. (Endless love.) There's no control, are you with me now? Your every wish will be done. They tell me,

There's nowhere to run, I have no place to go, surrender my heart, body and soul. How can it be you're asking me to feel the things you never show?

You are missing in my heart. Tell me why can't I be there where you are?

Ah, a classic. This must have been in Upper Primary when Backstreet Boys were still hot and all the rage. I particularly liked this song because I didn't have many close friends in primary school. Didn't realise it was a love song then :) The bliss of ignorance.

2．龙卷风 – 周杰伦

爱像一阵风, 吹完它就走, 这样的节奏, 谁都无可奈何.
没有你以后, 我灵魂失控, 黑云在降落, 我被它拖著走.

静静悄悄默默离开, 陷入了危险边缘 baby. 我的世界已狂风暴雨.
爱情来的太快就像龙卷风, 离不开暴风圈, 来不及逃,
我不能再想, 我不能再想, 我不, 我不, 我不能.
爱情走的太快就像龙卷风, 不能承受, 我已无处可躲.
我不要再想, 我不要再想,
我不, 我不, 我不要再想你.

不知不觉, 你已经离开我. 不知不觉, 我跟了这节奏.
后知后觉, 又过了一个秋. 后知后觉, 我该好好生活.

静静悄悄默默离开, 陷入了危险边缘 baby. 我的世界已狂风暴雨.

不知不觉，你已经离开我. 不知不觉，我跟了这节奏.
后知后觉，又过了一个秋. 后知后觉，我该好好生活.
后知后觉，我该好好生活. 不知不觉，你已经离开我.
不知不觉，我跟了这节奏. 后知后觉，后知后觉...

My first Chinese song that I learnt by heart. Way before Jay Chou was famous, my dear friend Qian Yu in Secondary 1 taught me the song and within 3 days we were humming it all the time. She also lent me the CD. And I also didn't realise then that this was a love song. Haha! Just loved the melody. Now looking at these lyrics, I find it really well written :)

3． Never be the same again – Mel C

Come on. Ooh, yeah. Never be the same again.

I call you up whenever things go wrong. You're always there; you are my shoulder to cry on. I can't believe it took me quite so long to take the forbidden step, is this something that I might regret?

(Come on, come on.) Nothing ventured, nothing gained. (You are the one.) A lonely heart that can't be tamed. (Come on, come on.) I'm hoping that you feel the same. This is something that I can't forget.

I thought that we would just be friends; things will never be the same again. It's just the beginning it's not the end, things will never be the same again. It's not a secret anymore. Now we've opened up the door. Starting tonight and from now on, we'll never, never be the same again. Never be the same again.

Now I know that we were close before, I'm glad I realised I need you so much more. And I don't care what everyone will say, it's about you and me and we'll never be the same again.

I thought that we would just be friends. (Oh yeah.) Things will never be the same again. (Never be the same again.) It's just the beginning it's not the end. (We've only just begun.) Things will never be the same again. It's not a secret anymore, now we've opened up the door. (Opened up the door.) Starting tonight and from now on, we'll never, never be the same again. Never be the same again.

Nite and day. Black beach sand to red clay. The US to UK, NYC to LA. From sidewalks to highways. See it'll never be the same. What I'm sayin', my mind frame never changed 'til you came rearranged.

But sometimes it seems completely forbidden, to discover those feelings that we kept so well hidden. Where there's no competition and you render my condition, though improbable it's not impossible, for a love that could be unstoppable. But wait, a fine line's between fate and destiny. Do you believe in the things that were just meant to be?

When you tell me the stories of your quest for me; picturesque is the picture you paint effortlessly. And as our energies mix and begin to multiply; everyday situations, they start to simplify. So things will never be the same between you and I. We intertwined our life was sizzling and now we're unified.

I thought that we would just be friends; things will never be the same again. It's just the beginning it's not the end, things will never be the same again. It's not a secret anymore, now we've opened up the door. Starting tonight and from now on, we'll never, never be the same again.

(Come on, come on) Things will never be the same again. (You are the one) Never be the same again. It's not a secret anymore. We'll never be the same again. It's not a secret anymore. We'll never be the same again. Never be the same again.

Never be the same again. Never be the same again. Never be the same again.

Melanie C!!! This is my ALL TIME FAVOURITE SONG! For all occasions. I remember a long time ago when MTV Asia was still on Channel 5 every Saturday mornings, I would watch the Top 10 Countdown. When I saw this MTV, I was blown away! Love the cinematography and sci-fi elements and rap in between the songs. And still, I didn't realise it was a love song. Just loved the entire FEEL of this song. Cool huh?

4． Same old brand new you – A1

I can still remember the time you were there. When I needed to hold you, feel you.
Every time I ask you to find a new way, you lie a new way. Is it gone, gone, gone, gone, gone?

You'll change. You'll never change. You're never, never gonna keep your promises.
You said you'd change. But I'm afraid, It's something I won't live to see.

It seems so strange, that sometimes fate, can appear to be so real and yet turn out to be a fantasy.

Same old line, one more time. Say you're gonna be, there for me. Say you'll change, change your ways. Never gonna keep your promises. Same old game. (You know it doesn't turn me on.) Brand new day. (You're singing that same old song.) No more lies (If you don't wanna find me gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.)

Another night, another day. What can I say? You're still the same old brand new you. You break your promises in two. What can I do? When you're the same old brand new you. Because of you, I guess we're through. Is this the way it has to be? I've been a fool (I've been a fool.) A fool for you. (A fool for you.) But I've got better things to do than let you walk all over me.

Haha, another love/breakup song. And still I didn't realise it. Haha! I like this song because of its electronic sounds and if memory serves me right, the MTV was filmed in Singapore! Although A1 had many more hits, this one stood out for me because of its oxymoronic title that actually made sense! Solid!

5. In the End – Linkin Park

It starts with one thing, I don’t know why it doesn’t even matter how hard you try. Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to explain in due time. All I know, time is a valuable thing, watch it fly by as the pendulum swings, watch it count down to the end of the day, the clock ticks life away.

It’s so unreal. Didn’t look out below, watch the time go right out the window, trying to hold on but didn’t even know, wasted it all just to watch you go. I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart.

What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard and got so far but in the end, it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all but in the end it doesn't even matter.

One thing, I don’t know why, it doesn’t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme, to remind myself how I tried so hard. In spite of the way you were mocking me, acting like I was part of your property, remembering all the times you fought with me, I’m surprised it got so far.

Things aren't the way they were before, you wouldn't even recognise me anymore. Not that you knew me back then, but it all comes back to me in the end. You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart.

I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go. For all this, there’s only one thing you should know. I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go. For all this, there’s only one thing you should know.

I tried so hard and got so far but in the end, it doesn’t even matter, I had to fall to lose it all but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

*Screams!* LINKIN PARK! Many of my friends when doing a quiz on Facebook selected Backstreet Boys or Britney Spears as the first album I bought. And only my closer friends know that after saving up my allowance for months, I managed to go to Coronation Plaza, at the corner shop in Level 2, to buy my very first album - Hybrid Theory.

Big mistake. Just because "In The End" sounded so good didn't mean the rest of the album did. It was like 80% metal, 20% music, unlike this song. Haha, but it grows on you. Just like Britney Spears does, Linkin Park did for me. Bought it even before they were famous. And now, I can't wait for their 4th album!

6. 熱帶雨林 – S.H.E.

我的付出全都要不到回音.
冷風過境, 回憶凍結成冰,

悔恨就像是綿延不斷的丘陵,
痛苦全方位的降臨.

悲傷入侵, 誓言下落不明,
我找不到那些愛過的曾經.

你像在寂寞上空盤旋的禿鷹,
將我想你啃食乾淨.

月色搖晃樹影, 穿梭在熱帶雨林,
你離去的原因從來不說明.

你的謊像陷阱, 我最後才清醒,
幸福只是水中的倒影.

月色搖晃樹影, 穿梭在熱帶雨林,
悲傷的雨不停全身血淋淋

那深陷在沼澤我不堪的愛情,
是我無能為力的傷心.

Wow. S.H.E. really executed this love/breakup song excellently. (I still didn't know it was a love song. Haha! Rachel is a bit slow at times, please forgive her. Late bloomer.) I love this song because I am staying in tropical Singapore and the title fits! I sang along lustily whenever the song played on television, not quite understanding the lyrics. Haha, my Chinese ain't that good for a NY girl you see. But later on, when I read the lyrics, even now, reading it, they are so well written! Love the imagery :) And together with Jay Chou's awesome melody, this was a chart-topper I think. Cool!

7．会读书 – 林俊杰

灯, 不能熄灭, 熬过今夜, 就能从书中逃回到这个世界.
我, 我不明白, 这个年代, 怎么还能说读好书就会发财, 好呆.
爱我的爸, 疼我的妈, 说了那么多, 你们明白吗?
不是要反抗只是要你看, 我不满的地方.

读读读读读到书都想吐好想哭,
怕怕怕怕怕老是背书好白痴.
你你你你你只会说你要第一, 我就快要发羊癫疯.

不是每个人都会读书会读书,
不厉害读书也不一定就会输,
不是想要说我会读书不在乎, 我只想要你能清楚.

林俊杰! He is one talented guy. Haha, I first saw him perform this song at a Countdown Performance in Beijing or Taipei when he first broke into the industry, still wet behind the ears, and looking decidedly "Singaporean", i.e. no superstar look. I was in Sec 3 or Sec 4 then, preparing for my exams and hearing someone belt out what I felt was really therapeutic. Haha. Bought his album shortly after and enjoyed all the rest of the songs. Look how far he has come now. :)

8. Bring me to life - Evanescence

How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core, where I’ve become so numb. Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold, until you find it there and lead it back home.

(Wake me up.) Wake me up inside. (I can’t wake up.) Wake me up inside. (Save me.) Call my name and save me from the dark. (Wake me up.) Bid my blood to run. (I can’t wake up.) Before I come undone. (Save me.) Save me from the nothing I’ve become.

Now that I know what I’m without, you can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real, bring me to life. Bring me to life. (I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside.) Frozen inside without your touch, without your love. Darling, only you are the life among the dead.

All of this time I can't believe I couldn't see, kept in the dark but you were there in front of me. I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems, got to open my eyes to everything. Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul. Don't let me die here, there must be something more. Bring me to life.

Oh yes! Evanescence! One of the most fantastic bands ever! I remember it was probably in Sec 4 when this was released and we were joking with their name in the Chemistry lab because it sounded like "effervescence" you see. Haha. Once in a while it's good to hear them and awaken the parts of you within that are frozen and lifeless. Bring me to life!

9. Without me – Eminem

Obie Trice, real name, no gimmicks.

Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside.

Guess who's back, back again? Shady's back, tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back?

I've created a monster, ‘cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more. They want Shady, I'm chopped liver. (Huh?) Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya, a little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor. Some vodka that'll jump start my heart quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when I'm not co-operating, when I'm rockin’ the table while he's operating. (Hey!) You waited this long, now stop debating, ‘cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating. I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney but your husband's heart problem's complicating. So the FCC won't let me be, or let me be me, so let me see, they try to shut me down on MTV, but it feels so empty, without me.

So, come on and dip, bum on your lips, f*** that, c** on your lips, and some on your t***, and get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy I just settled all my lawsuits, F*** *** DEBBIE!

Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody, just follow me. ‘Cause we need a little controversy, ‘cause it feels so empty, without me. I said this looks like a job for me, so everybody, just follow me, ‘cause we need a little controversy, ‘cause it feels so empty, without me.

Little Hellions, kids feelin’ rebellious, embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis. They start feelin’ like prisoners helpless, 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells B****! A visionary, vision of scary, could start a revolution, pollutin’ the airwaves. A rebel, so just let me revel and bask in the fact that I got everyone kissin’ my ass. And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe, for you to see so damn much of my ass; you asked for me?

Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Fix your bent antenna tune it in and then I'm gonna enter in, endin’ up under your skin like a splinter. The centre of attention, back for the winter. I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling, infesting in your kid's ears and nesting. Testing, “Attention please,” feel the tension, soon as someone mentions me. Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free. A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me?

A-tisket a-tasket, I go tit for tat with anybody who's talkin’ this shit, that shit, Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked, worse than them little Limp Bizkit b*******. And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie. You thirty-six year old baldheaded f**, b*** me. You don't know me, you're too old, let go. It's over, nobody listen to techno. Now let's go, just gimme the signal, I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults. I’ve been dope, suspenseful with a pencil, ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol.

But sometimes the shit just seems everybody only wants to discuss me, so this must mean I'm disgusting. But it's just me, I'm just obscene. No I'm not the first king of controversy; I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley. To do black music so selfishly and used it to get myself wealthy. (Hey!) There's a concept that works, Twenty million other white rappers emerge, but no matter how many fish in the sea, it'll be so empty, without me.

Chem-hie-la-la-la.

Kids!

I heard this on radio and loved the very strong rhyme and hilarous satire. Bought the album - BIG MISTAKE. Eminem uses really foul language in all 20 tracks that just stank up my headphones. Yet when he was sober, less vulgar and in his element, he is really good! One or two songs in "The Eminem Show" are like that. This is one of them. He is a very talented rapper and today, I can't wait to lay my hands on "Recovery", his latest offering. Recovery from what you ask? Drugs, sex and booze.

10. Vertigo – U2

Unos, dos, tres, catorce. (1, 2, 3, 14.)

Lights go down, it's dark, the jungle is your head, can't rule your heart. I'm feeling so much stronger than I thought. Your eyes are wide and though your soul, it can't be bought, your mind can wander.

Hello, Hello. Hola! Hola! Hola! I'm at a place called Vertigo (¿Dónde está?) It's everything I wish I didn't know, except you give me something I can feel. Feel.

The night is full of holes; those bullets rip the sky of ink with gold. They twinkle as the boys play rock and roll. They know that they can't dance, at least they know. I can sell the beat. I'm askin' for the cheque. Girl with crimson nails has Jesus 'round the neck, swinging to the music, swinging to the music.

Check mated. Oh yeah. Hours of fun.

All of this, all of this can be yours. All of this, all of this can be yours. All of this, all of this can be yours. Just give me what I want and no one gets hurt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

This is my first U2 song even though they've been around for years. Haha. Late bloomer. But I love it. I bought the album but didn't quite like the rest of the songs though.

11. Still – Hillsong

Hide me now, under your wings; cover me, within your mighty hand.
When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with You above the storm.
Father you are King over the flood, I will be still, and know You are God.

First sang this on the last service of 2006 I think. First time I heard it, I fell in love with it. Simple but so true.

12．一生最爱 – 城市丰收敬拜团

因为你，我的生命能如此独特，分别为圣。
因为你，我有永恒生命在我心, 一生为你。
你所赐的一切，远超过这个世界，我的意义在于你。
一生我愿为你献上，我心全然爱你，
高举双手，恳求我的主，来充满我。
呼召我必定会跟随，我心全然归你。
因有我主；你慈爱与恩典不离开我。

你的同在，你的大能；主我全人降服与你。

Taiwan Emerge 2007. I was singing this and weeping buckets cos it was so real. SOT 2009 reminded me and God gave me a calling. No wonder I love all these Chinese worship songs man :)

13. God will make a way – Don Moen

God will make a way, where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me. He will be my guide, hold me closely to His side. With love and strength for each new day, He will make a way, He will make a way.
By a roadway in the wilderness He’ll lead me and rivers in the desert will I see. Heaven and earth will fade but His Word will still remain and He will do something new today.

When I was at Festival of Praise 2007 or 2008 (can't quite remember when), Khoon Teck told me he loved Don Moen and has all his album. I didn't know why. When Don Moen sang on that stage at the Indoor Stadium, I was hooked! He is so GOOD! When I left that night, I rushed to Attributes to get my copy of "God will make a way"!

14. Believe Me – Fort Minor

I guess that this is where we've come to. If you don't want to, then you don't have to, believe me. But I won't be there when you go down, just so you know now, you're on your own now, believe me.

I don't want to be the one to blame, you like fun and games. Keep playing ‘em. I'm just saying, think back then, we was like one and the same, on the right track, but I was on the wrong train. Just like that, now you've got a face to pain. And the devil's got a fresh new place to play. In your brain like a maze you can never escape the rain. Every damn day is the same shade of grey.

Hey, I used have a little bit of a plan, used to have a concept of where I stand. But that concept slipped right out of my hands, now I don't really even know who I am. Yo, what do I have to say? Maybe I should do what I have to do to break free. Whatever happens to you, we'll see, but it's not gonna happen with me.

Back then, I thought you were just like me, somebody who could see all the pain I see. But you proved to me unintentionally, that you would self destruct eventually. Now I'm thinking like the mistake I made doesn't hurt, but it's not gonna work, ‘cause it's really much worse than I thought. I wished you were something that you were not. And now this guilt is really all that I got.

You turned your back and walked away in shame. All you got is a memory of pain. Nothing makes sense so you stare at the ground. I hear your voice in my head when no one else is around. What do I have to say? Maybe I should do what I have to do to break free. Whatever happens to you, we'll see, but it's not gonna happen with me.

I’ll do what I have to do. (You're on your own now, believe me.) Whatever happens to you? (You're on your own now, believe me.) What do I have to say? (You're on your own now, believe me.) It's not gonna happen with me. (You're on your own now, believe me.)

Was introduced to Fort Minor by Sian Kim, my fellow US Tax temp staff at KPMG just before university started. She's such a fun person to hang around with and there was a day she rapped this song from dawn till dusk. Helping expats file their US Tax and figuring out double taxation was pretty boring work you see. :)

15. Desert Song – Hillsong

This is my prayer in the desert, when all that’s within me is dry. This is my prayer in my hunger and need, my God is the God who provides. And this is my prayer in the fire, in weakness or trial or pain. There is a faith proved of more worth than gold, so refine me Lord through the flame.

I will bring praise, I will bring praise, no weapon formed again me shall remain. I will rejoice, I will declare, God is my victory and He is here.

This is my prayer in the battle, where triumph is still on its way. I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ, so here on this promise I stand.

All of my life, in every season, you are still God. I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship.

This is my prayer in the harvest, where favour and providence flow. I know I’m filled to be emptied again, the seed I’ve received I will sow.

Got the "This is our God" CD from Attributes cos I loved the cover song. But I like this one even more, go look up and do a bit of research and you'll be touched of how this live recording came to be. I love all the imagery too. And there's something about two ladies strumming on a guitar, belting out this song on stage. Cool!

16. Sing, sing, sing – Chris Tomlin
Sing, sing, sing; and make music with the heavens. We will sing, sing, sing; grateful that you hear us when we shout your praise; lift high the name of Jesus.

What’s not to love about You? Heaven and earth adore You. Kings and kingdoms bow down. Son of God, You are the One. You are the One. You are the love that frees us; You are the light that leads us, like a fire burning. Son of God you are the one, You are the one we’re living for.

No matter how many times I hear this song, I am happy singing it. Will never get tired of it man. Love the music, love the lyrics, love the mood it creates when you sing it!

17. No Boundaries – Kris Allen

Seconds hours so many days. You know what you want but how long can you wait? Every moment last forever if you feel you’ve lost your way. What if your chances are already gone? Started believing that I could be wrong. But you give me one good reason to fight and never walk away, cause here I am still holding on.

Every step you climb another mountain, every breath its harder to believe. You’ll make it through the rain, weather the hurricane, to get to that one thing. When you think the road is going nowhere; just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams, they'll take you by the hand and show you that you can.

There are no boundaries.

I fought to the end to stand on the edge. What if today is as good it gets? Don’t know where the future’s headed. Nothing’s gonna bring me down. I’ve jumped every bridge and I’ve run every line, I’ve risked being saved but I always knew why. I always knew why.

You can go higher, you can go deeper, there are no boundaries, above and beneath you. Break every rule cause there’s nothing between you and your dreams.

Whether it's Adam Lambert or Kris Allen singing it, it is still THAT BRILLIANT! Words in large and bold are those I believe in. Really, really believe in.

18. Fancy Free – Sun Ho

Woke up feeling like a millionaire; walking down the street with the wind in my hair. All the boys stare, say I look so good. No, I'm not cocky but I knew that they would.

‘Cause everywhere I go my life is a party, I don't have a worry; the sun keeps on shining on me. Look how it's shining on me. (Oh!) You can't tell me nothing; look out ‘cause I'm coming. The street is my runway and everyone's looking at me. All of their eyes are on me. (All of their eyes are on me.)

And I, I feel so beautiful. (I'm lovely.) Can't no one tell me no. (I'm fancy free.) My life's a circus show. (It's lovely.) No matter where I go. (I'm fancy free.) Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee. I'm fancy free.

Feels just like I'm on a shooting star; made my wish to be a super star. If I'm wrong and dreams don't come true, I'll just make today what I want to. Have your say, you can't break my high, you should join me on my carpet ride. Let's play, what you say. Say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's so easy. See that's your problem right there. You're too cool. (Yeah, yeah.) I'm just trying to have fun, stop worrying so much and just follow me. ‘Cause I feel so beautiful, can't no one tell me no. My life's a circus show, no matter where I go, I'm fancy free.

First Singaporean artiste to break into the US charts! When I saw this video, I almost flipped! It is so good! And Sun's video director was LADY GAGA's too! Solid!

19. Bad Romance – Lady Gaga

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah. Rom-mah-rom-mum-mah. Ga-ga-oo-la-la. Want your bad romance.

I want your ugly, I want your disease. I want your everything, as long as it’s free. I want your love. Love. Love. Love. I want your love. I want your drama, the touch of your head. I want your leather studded kiss in the scene, I want your love. Love. Love. Love. I want your love.

You know that I want you and you know that I need you. I want it bad. Bad romance. I want your loving and I want your revenge; you and me could write a bad romance.

Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh! Caught in a bad romance. Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah. Rom-mah-rom-mum-mah. Ga-ga-oo-la-la. Want your bad romance.

I want your horror, I want your design. Cause you’re a criminal, as long as your mine. I want your love. Love. Love. Love. I want your love. I want your psycho, your vertical stick. Want you in my rear window, baby you’re sick. I want your love. Love. Love. Love. I want your love.

Walk, walk fashion baby, work it, move that bitch crazy. Walk, walk fashion baby, work it, move that bitch crazy. Walk, walk fashion baby, work it, I'm a free bitch baby.

I want your love and I want your revenge. I want your love, I don’t wanna be friends. J'veux ton amour et j'veux ton revenge. J'veux ton amour, I don’t wanna be friends.

Oh gosh. I can so relate to her.

20. One Time – Justin Bieber

Me plus you, I'ma tell you one time. Me plus you, I'ma tell you one time. Me plus you, I'ma tell you one time. One time, one time.

When I met you girl, my heart went “knock, knock.” Now them butterflies in my stomach won't stop, stop. And even though it's a struggle love is all we got, got. And we gon' keep, keep climbing to the mountain top.

Your world is my world and my fight is your fight. My breath is your breath and your heart is my heart. And girl you're my one love, my one heart, my one life for sure. Let me tell you one time. (Girl, I love, girl I love you.) I'ma tell you one time. (Girl, I love, girl I love you.) And I'ma be your one guy, you’ll be my #1 girl, always making time for you. I'ma tell you one time. (Girl, I love, girl I love you.) I'ma tell you one time. (Girl, I love, girl I love you.)

You look so deep, you know that it humbles me. You're by my side, them troubles them not trouble me. Many have called but the chosen is you. Whatever you want shawty I'll give it to you. Shawty right there. She's got everything I need. And I'ma tell her one time. Give you everything you need down to my last dime.

She makes me happy, I know where I'll be. Right by your side, ‘cause she is the one for me.

Me plus you, I'ma tell you one time. One time, one time.

Justin Bieber's so cute! I got to know who he is only recently. Like this year. When my dear friend Jade has spotted him ever since he came onto the music scene. This is one talented boy that Usher and Justin Timberlake fought to sign him to their labels! Wow!

21. My Freedom – Krystal Meyers

Underneath this skin is a heart that's bleeding. Underneath that heart, I'm waiting, I'm praying. Can you really feel what I'm feeling? 'Cause this world don't ask, it takes, it's stealing.

Can you feel this heart, it's beating, like a drum it's beating, it's calling out to you. Will you come and rain on this desert heart like only you can do?

Can hear this soul, it's crying, my soul is crying, calling out to you. Will you come and wash over me, like only you can do?

Will you be my freedom?

When I am tempted to crawl back and hide my face, will you wrap me up with love, truth and grace? How'd I become the mess that I have made? I'm afraid to look you in the eye because of my shame.

How beautiful it is it is, how wonderful to be set free.

Can hear this soul, it's crying, my soul is crying, calling out to you. Will you come and wash over me, like only you can do?

Will you be my freedom?
You are my freedom.

I bought Krystal Meyers CD at Popular as they were clearing stock and slashing prices. SHE IS SO SUPREMELY AWESOME! I have played this song my iPod practically a couple dozen times man! Love her. Love the entire "Make some noise" album! Can't wait for her next one to come out. And she's only 21! Younger than Lady Gaga. She sounds like a mix of Lady Gaga, Backstreet Boys, Avril Lavigne and more. EXCELLENT!

22. Grace is Enough - Don Moen

I can boast of many works done out of insecurity and credit many conversations to my immaturity. And while I’m misunderstood, you are understanding me and showing me how grace is enough.

For everything that I’ve done right, seems like a thousand I’ve done wrong. And I keep on losing count of all the times my flesh has won, and when the light of Christ that’s in me is overshadowed by the fall, you’re showing me how grace is enough.

When I feel unworthy, so undeserving, still I can come, just as I am, for I find your love is free of condition. So I will run to your wide open arms, where I am accepted, and I am forgiven. Grace is enough for me. Your grace is enough for me.

I’ve been quick at passing judgement when I’m worthy of conviction. And there are times when I measure virtue only based on my religion. But theology it seems, is not the thing that’s saving me. You are showing me a grace that’s enough.

Oh I was blind, now I see. Sweet is the sound of your grace over me. Well you said it all on the cross. Your grace goes beyond all that I have done.

I played this almost a hundred times. I got this CD in Surabaya 2 years ago, but only recently when I replayed it, this song really SPOKE to me. Reminds me that grace ultimately cannot be bought nor earned, but is freely given and we've gotta receive it. I LOVE DON MOEN! Only artiste to appear twice in this list. Finally, it can only be Don Moen that can incorporate the word "theology" in his song and make it work.

23. Here is Love – CHC Band

Down at the cross I found my way; you came and met me. Forgiveness flowed down from a tree; in you I’m made clean. Amazing grace that rescued me out of my sin. Restored, redeemed, forever free, in you made holy. How could I say thanks, to you who gave us all?

Here is Love, poured out so freely. Here is love that captivated all of me at Calvary. Here is Love, your arms wide open. Here is Love; your mercy draws me closer to you my Lord.

The Prince of peace, our ransom paid, a flood of mercy. This life I live, my offering unto the King. The cross I see, that rugged tree, tells of grace and mercy. Redemption’s blood all over me, living in your beauty.

Wow. I am so impressed by David Yem who wrote this song. Love this more than "Sweetest Devotion" (which is excellent too). I love this song because it talks about love. And the imagery, TERRIFIC! I can sing it, and listen to it, and I wanna learn to play it on my guitar again and again and again and again. That's the mark of a great song! It grows on you each time instead of you getting tired of it.

So much about me and my favourite songs.

How about you?

Languages I wanna learn :D

2010-05-12T09:51:00.000+08:00

After I master the Chinese language, here are some languages I wanna learn and some accompanying reasons! How about you?

1. Bahasa Indonesian - To travel all over Indonesian, make new friends, bargain hard, understand the beautiful and anointed songs that they sing. And to chat with my dearest Indonesian friends Jacqueline, Elizabeth and Erwin.

2. Japanese - To be able to talk to Naomi, to go to Japan and understand them, to be able to finally comprehend Anime in its original glory, to go for a mission trip and preach in fluent Japanese.

3. Korean - To be able to go to Korea and interact with those housewives from Yoido Full Gospel that brought about the revival, to talk to some Korean hunks and impress them, to chat with Korean ladies who will be so tall I'll probably need to buy boots in chilly Korea.

4. Greek - To be able to read the Septuagint. And all the Greek classics.

5. Hebrew - To be able to read the Torah in its original language.

6. Spanish - Cos it's so cool and so many countries were ex-colonies of Spain in the past. And visit Venezuela, Spain and many other countries too!

7. Russian - To be able to go to Russia and not get cheated at the markets, to go there to talk to the people like Ulf Ekman, they said they're really hungry there and that's the setting for dozens of miracles. Read: Resurrection from the dead. To ask how the locals make and drink such potent Vodka.

8. German - Cos my parents worked there last time and I learnt a bit of it in Sec 1 at the 3rd Language Centre at Bishan but dropped it in Sec 2 cos the grammar was too confusing for a 14 year old.

9. French - So as to impress the French, many say they are snobby and don't speak English real well.

10. Tagalog - To converse with Ida, and go visit the beautiful beaches in The Philippines and chat with them there.

11. Thai - To go to Thailand and drive a hard bargain at the famous markets, and to speak with the locals there.

12. Bahasa Melayu - Cos it is different from Bahasa Indonesian and our nearest neighbour is Malaysia man.

13. Tamil - Cos we're living in multi-racial Singapore man and I can chat with Prashant and Gowri and not have anyone else understand what we're saying!

14. Arabic - Cos its one of the six languages they speak at the United Nations. And wanna go to the Mid-East once they've settled down to check out the oil fields and Dubai as well.

15. Sign language - Cos many people sign. And I can chat properly with Jeremiah and others in church too!

Cool huh? Well I've got an entire life time to learn. So perhaps 1 language every 2 years. That makes 30 years. Whee!

MSE Alphabet!

2010-05-04T16:12:00.008+08:00

A - Atom. Haha.
B - Boltzmann Constant.
C - C Programming is so bad.
D - The ratio of the induced strain in a piezoelectric material to the applied electric field that produces this strain.
E - Energy.
F - Fluorine Tin-doped oxide (FTO) glass.
G - Gibb's Energy.
H - Hydrogen, lightest element ever.
I - Current.
J - Current.
K - Kelvin.
L - Length.
M - Mass.
N - Nitrogen is an important element.
O - And so is Oxygen.
P - Power.
Q - Quantum Efficency.
R - Universal Gas Constant.
S - Entropy / Schroedinger's Equation.
T - Temperature.
U - Potential.
V - Voltage.
W - Watt.
X - An unknown.
Y - Constant function.
Z - Zzz. Information overload ;)

Acronyms

2010-04-26T14:29:00.019+08:00

Let's begin with something simple. Check this out!

ACS AYE BKE CPF COE DBS ERP GE GIC GSS HDB IE ITE JC JTC KJE LKY LRT NUS NTU MCYS MDA MFA MOE MOF MOM MRT NYGH OCBC PAP PIE POSB RGS RI RJC SMRT SMU STB TPE UOB YEP

If you understand all of the above, you are a SINGAPOREAN.

Congratulations! And High-5!

Next, we move on to something a little harder...

CHC BS GS CL VL FT1 FT2 GOHS GOTP AFV HCGL MMW FF1 FF2 CM SOS PM OPM CG CGL CGC PCGL ZS PST JW RW SOT WYZ YK AZ CK

If you understand all of the above, you are a CITY HARVESTER!

Congrats! I'm so proud of you. I really am. And High-10!

A little higher level now...

NKJV NLT NIV BNB AMP MSG SUBGRP-I/C GRP-I/C S-I/C TL AIM CS OPS GST AGM

If you understand all of the above, you are an ATTRIBUTES MINISTRY MEMBER! Awesome job you're doing, shifting, serving, selling! Rock on!

Finally, the acronyms of acronyms belongs to...

NUS MSE PS PP PVC PC PE PTFE LDPE HDPE HIPS HOMO LUMO FWHM FTIR CGM XJM CJS GH DG OYJY BENG PHD EXPT PV CB VB ECP QE SC Voc Jsc

If you understand all of the above, you are an NUS MATERIALS ENGINEER!

You've got into an awesome course! Love you loads! We've been torured tgt :D No la, I'm no SM :P Whee! "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," my good friend Celeste once said. So we are stronger, we are stronger!

I'm a survivor! I'm gonna make it!

Hahaha.

P.S. Stalkers, please comment. So far I see hits of around 20 a day, but only Kgoon Liang, Jacqueline, Joyce, Xiao Ting have commented. Please let me know who you and do provide constructive feedback are so I can improve my command of English language. ;)
{A Simple "Hi Rachel!" would suffice.}

And continue entertaining you of course!

Sick

2010-04-14T18:42:00.003+08:00

Will be going back to Dr Goh in 1 hour's time. For fourth and last dose of antibiotics. This time round, it's Avelox.

Need to finish FYP presentation. Due Friday. God will provide like He did for the report. Nothing short of a miracle if you know MSE and NUS :)

Pray for healing.

Need sleep and need to start on current 0 slide presentation. Not stressed though :)

Shall see doctor then sleep and chiong tmr.

2 Weeks in the Life of (Reborn & Joyful) Rachel in Photos :D

2010-04-03T06:16:00.004+08:00

Music - The Language of Heaven

2010-03-26T06:30:00.021+08:00

Many people ask why City Harvest Church has such vibrant praise and worship. I was confused too as a new Christian 4 years back. Some people question if it's too worldly, if it is even biblical to have exciting music to be played in church.

Even my dad, in a Lutheran church says, "Our hymns and worship music is nice and quiet. Don't you think that's what God likes? Doesn't he want us to worship Him in that manner? Your church is like a rock concert, old people like us cannot appreciate or enjoy."

Haha. Well, yes and no. Check out our Dialect Church and Chinese Church and see many old people (i.e. 60 years old and above) praising the name of God, jumping around and generally dancing in such a manner that would put many Christians of a younger age to shame. Anyway, the great King David in the Bible praised God deliriously. He was so into it, dancing and singing what God has done for him that his wife scolded him.

Check out the story and note what David's wife said in green, David's reply in blue, and God's reaction in purple:

" And David danced before the Lord with all his might, wearing a priestly garment. So David and all the people of Israel brought up the Ark of the Lord with shouts of joy and the blowing of rams’ horns.

(Rachel's own note: They didn't have trumpets in the past you see. So they use the horns of animals as musical instruments. Can you imagine how loud it must have been? Like deafening! Rams' horns in the Old Testament was used to prepare the nation of Israel for war. That means from kilometers and kilometers away when one horn is blown, you can hear it, so you know the enemy is coming and you can get your weapons ready to engage and fight them. Like here notice they have horns - in plural, and it must have been more noisy than any Chinese New Year lion and dragon dance troupe. That is saying a lot - I get deafened every CNY because of the clashing, clanging cymbals. But I digress. Continue reading :)

But as the Ark of the Lord entered the City of David, Michal, the daughter of Saul, looked down from her window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she was filled with contempt for him. They brought the Ark of the Lord and set it in its place inside the special tent David had prepared for it. And David sacrificed burnt offerings and peace offerings to the Lord. When he had finished his sacrifices, David blessed the people in the name of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. Then he gave to every Israelite man and woman in the crowd a loaf of bread, a cake of dates, and a cake of raisins. Then all the people returned to their homes.

When David returned home to bless his own family, Michal, the daughter of Saul, came out to meet him. She said in disgust, “How distinguished the king of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do!”

David retorted to Michal, “I was dancing before the Lord, who chose me above your father and all his family! He appointed me as the leader of Israel, the people of the Lord, so I celebrate before the Lord. Yes, and I am willing to look even more foolish than this, even to be humiliated in my own eyes! But those servant girls you mentioned will indeed think I am distinguished!”

So Michal, the daughter of Saul, remained childless throughout her entire life."

- extracted from 2 Samuel 6:14 - 23 (New Living Translation)

David must have been dancing with wild abandon. Now the same cannot be said for me every Sunday at church. I still have two left feet I think. In dancing class in Nanyang, I never seemed to be able to "catch on" and click with dance. Always seemed to be a little awkward like an ugly duckling. Haha, that aside, I make up by clapping loudly and swaying to the awesome music. So if you can dance, please dance ya, not everyone can... And who better to learn from than the man after God's own heart - David?

Music is the language of heaven.

How cool is that? When we go up to heaven one day, we won't be talking, we'd be singing 24/7! Don't believe me? Check out the Bible, the Word of God.

It says, "And they sang a new song, saying "You are worthy to take the scroll...." in Revelations 5:9. There are many more of these verses, go check them out on your own :)

Well, that's why I realised that as heavenly creatures (we really didn't originate from the Earth, we were created by the hands of God, out of soil but infused with the breath and life of God), we have this connection with music.

Ever noticed that even though you might not understand songs sung in a different language or tongue, you can appreciate the melody and nice sounds? Or even hearing for the first time people playing musical instruments you've not heard before and amazingly connecting with it? Like I totally love African music that my Secondary School music teacher Ms Chek played in class. And I adore Chinese Orchestra music in my time in Nanyang and groove along to the Nanyang Symphonic Band when they do those fusion pieces. Ever wondered why? It's because,

Music transcends nations.
Music transcends culture.
Music transcends religion.
Music transcends language.
Music is essentially, universal, created by God for all to enjoy.

That's why when we want to relax, we put on a favourite CD and chill out to it. Music can have that effect because it is something created by God for us. This is why the music industry is such a huge industry and this is also why buskers out there can survive. Because people generally appreciate music. And humans are creative as the image of God, aka imago dei (God = Elohim = Creator). Because we are creative, different kinds of music are created by different ones for different ones to enjoy. And that's all well and awesome, but I digress again. Haha.

And that's why in church, there is so much singing and stuff. Cos God enjoys it, He wants us to enjoy it and so we sing along, praising the name of God and generally having a great time doing it with excellent music.

Even rap is a kind of music. It's Rapid American Poetry (RAP) set to awesome beats and some melodies. Check out this video by Vanness Wu. Fantastic stuff!

It's called Devil, and it's not about the Devil but about something else. Haha. Check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffyOcIXHWjE&feature=player_embedded

TGIF!

This video brought tears to my eyes

2010-03-20T17:52:00.019+08:00

http://www.chc.org.sg/eng/video_tribute.html

Wow. This is powerful. I was just searching for something on the church website when I chanced upon this link.

As I clicked on it, expecting to watch just another cool video, I was surprised to find my emotions welling up 3 times and almost crying right at the end of the short 5.52min clip.

It's either Alison's anointed vocals, the images that showed the sacrifices of the pioneers of City Harvest Church (or known as Ekklesia Ministry when it was first started) or all of that and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Whew. Now I truly realise what God has done in the 20 years of CHC's ministry.

A great work.

Because of City Harvest's ministry, so many people have been helped, the poor and needy in Singapore and all over Asia, those devastated by the Aceh Tsunami, Sichuan earthquake, the more recent Haiti earthquake. And many, many, many more by the countless numbers of nameless volunteers who slogged and sacrificed to do good and to share.

But more than that, millions in Asia have received the greatest gift of all - salvation. To know God, not just as head knowledge, nor as a philosophy, but knowing God as in having a close, personal relationship with Jesus where prayers are answered and talking to the Holy Spirit is a two-way communication instead of treating God as a divine vending machine request.

Reminded me of what's really important in life. And what being Christ-like is all about.

It's not about the number of people you reach out to and lead to Christ.
It's not about how much of the Bible you read and understand.
It's not about how long or short you've been in church.
It's not about the amount of work you can do for God.
It's not about how much money you donate to charity.
It's not about how many times you've backslided.
It's not about how young or old you are.
It's not about how much you pray.

It's not about anything else but one thing.

LOVE.

God = Love

(With Love, the rest in the list mentioned above falls into place naturally.
Without Love, the just doing any one item in the list is a struggle. Come back to your first love won't you. Or if you haven't found God, go find Him. They say that those who seek, find; those who ask, receive. Go on, ask a Christian friend, go to a church, read a book. Won't recommend the Bible for beginners, unless you get a good one like The Message Bible.)

Being Christ-like in the simplest terms means to receive love and to give love.
Hollywood has made love into something that is sexual, something that is elusive, something that is transient.

That true love is rare, people fall in love as easily as they fall out of love, that it is next to impossible to find the ideal lover and spouse even as divorce rates skyrocket.

So how can we love?

The key is in receiving God's love. Something I've recently discovered. It's not about striving to do stuff, but just slowing down, staying still, closing your eyes and feeling the presence of God.

Try it right now. Stop reading this sentence right now, turn off iTunes, shut the door and just sit there in your chair, close your eyes and be still.

They say "Be still and know that I am God" what does that mean? Super cheem right? With a bit of research, I found that the original Hebrew word for "be still" is "raphah". What it means is to drop everything. Check this out, I lifted from another website;

"The word translated “be still” comes from the Hebrew term raphah. This word is found in various foms in the Old Testament, with different shades of meaning. It refers to that which is slack, or to let drop, or in some instances, to be disheartened or weak. When used of a person (as opposed to some inanimate object) it often has a negative connotation.

Interestingly, “be weak” is here commanded. In other contexts, those who let their hands “drop” from work are condemned. Those who are disheartened are commanded to take courage. In contexts where “being still” is condemned, we find that certain obligations were being neglected, and God’s people were admonished to take initiative to fulfill their duties.

Sadly, there are those who are far from “still”; they “do all the work” and give God none of the credit. They believe that by “lifting up their hands” and by “taking courage,” they can survive and thrive by the sweat of their own brow. They can do it all on their own, without any divine dependence.

Here is the irony in this term “be still.” While we must take the initiative to fulfill our responsibilities and live our lives, the uncertainties of living in a world of sin and woe will continually challenge us. Personal initiative is no substitute for reliance upon God (cf. James 4:13-17).

This command — “be still” — forces us to think on two things: that we are finite, and that God is infinite. That being the case, we need to drop our hands, go limp, relax, and “chill out.” Christian people ought to “come, behold the works of Jehovah,” (v. 8) that we may enjoy a calm confidence in him who gave us his Son."

It's not complete, if you want to read the entire thing, check out Jason Jackson's article on Be Still and Know that I am God by clicking here. Quite short, but very interesting and I believe it is a message from God to you.

And as you be still, know that Jesus loves you and cares for you.

This is a love that we have been searching for all our lives. In all the wrong places.

Sex cannot satisfy.
Food cannot satisfy.
Sleep cannot satisfy.
Games cannot satisfy.
Money cannot satisfy.
Friends cannot satisfy.
Pleasure cannot satisfy.
Fast cars cannot satisfy.
Marriage cannot satisfy.
Branded bags cannot satisfy.
Relationships cannot satisfy.
One night stands cannot satisfy.
A well paying job cannot satisfy.
High-tech gadgets cannot satisfy.
Movies and entertainment cannot satisfy.
Not even attending church service or cell group can satisfy.

These are not wrong, not sinful, all things are created by God for us to enjoy. In fact, the Garden of Eden means a "place of leisure". We're meant to enjoy life, enjoy the world God has created for us to live in. Yet, ultimately, even as we enjoy them, they cannot satisfy.

Only one thing can.

God.

All of us have a God-shaped void inside of us. That only God can fill.

This void is so deep, so bottomless, so huge that only God alone can complete.

Anything else is only temporary and happiness gained through the above-mentioned methods are transient.

Only recently did I find out, through experience, the difference between happiness and joy.

Joy is lasting. It is from God. The Bible says that the "Joy of the Lord is our strength". Only when you go through the toughest times, willing to be discipled and open to correction that you'd understand what this means.

Happiness on the other hand is temporary. In the midst of the darkest depression, I sought solace in food, in movies, in television, in church services, in Facebook, in Twitter, in books, and even in prayer. Yet, searching for happiness is futile. It only creates a short-lived high.

I've probably been living on short-lived highs my entire life until now.

4 years in church seemed to have been run on excitement instead of true fellowship with God.

But now, it's a whole new different ballgame.

I am in love.

Truly, madly, deeply in love.

Ask me how. And I'll be more than happy to share this infinite, ever-lasting, never-fading, sacrificial love of Jesus with you.

Why so passionate you ask? Why so obsessed? Shouldn't you be looking for your life-partner instead of blogging here about love from a deity you cannot even see?

Well, here's why.

I really believe in this order of importance in our lives:
#1. God
#2. Family
#3. Ministry

Why not family before God? Remember the Bible mentioned that there are no husbands and wives in heaven? Everyone is equal. So really, friendship and relationships, the husband and wife love-relationship is really a way to prepare us before we go to heaven.

What do I mean?

As you learn to love your spouse, you learn to sacrifice to him/her, to learn to give, to tolerate, to share, to care, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in joys and in sorrows, forsaking all others.

Wow. Isn't that how God loves us? Isn't that how we should love Him too?

The greatest of all - Love

2010-02-28T21:18:00.003+08:00

Learning how to love everyday.

I think doing the work of God can be extremely tiring. Hence we gotta rely on the love of God to keep us going.

Learning how to keep on going. Just keep on tilling the ground. Stony ground can become good ground. That's my revelation from Mark about the parable of the sower. 4 kinds of ground, the worst - stony ground, the best - good ground. But even the hardest rock, over time, can be weathered down. By water and wind. How cool is that? A symbol of the Holy Spirit. Prayer and the Holy Spirit can change stony hearts into open, receiving ones.

Key is not to give up.

Learning to flow with the Holy Spirit. Wanna be like Dr Cho, have begun to pray before meals, during grace to have and flow in all 9 gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Yet, got to keep on reminding myself that the greatest of all is love.

The taxi driver that drove me to the morning prayer on Friday brought that home to point. I woke up late, at 6.15am cos I slept late on Thursday night doing an assignment. Seriously didn't feel like going because of the unfinished assignment, but made a committment, so I went. The $20 was worth every cent. Here's why...

So to give a bit of background, I've been reading "Too busy not to pray" by Bill Hybels and it advocates examining your previous day and writing it down in a journal, restricting it to a page. And then flip to the back and write your prayer down, according to the acronynm - ACTS, can check that out in the other blog.

So I flagged a cab, and started writing my 2 pages in my small NUS exercise book. I sat in front, and the cab driver was so kind to turn the ceiling light on for me.

And so he started talking once I was done and thanked him for the light. Asked if I was a teacher going to teach and that I wrote really fast. Being my usual guarded self, and being a quiet person by nature, I would not have talked too much, save that I'm going to church.

But then because it was after a week of morning prayer, I guess I was more sensitive to the Holy Spirit and just shared that I was going to church to pray and then my testimony.

Once that was done, he shared with me his story about his family, his daughter, his brothers about how they all go to church and described them to me. So we chatted a bit, about how the public views CHC, et cetera.

But I wanted to know what he thought even after talking so much about his family. And as he was Indian, I hesitated to ask but then I said, "What about you?"

He said he was the one who started the trend 40 years ago by going to church and studying the bible. Haha. But to cut a long story short, over the years, even as different members of his extended family joined the church, he saw them comparing. Saying one church was better than the other. Being disrespectful to one another. Being mean in general. And he was disillusioned. So even though different people asked him to go, today, he doesn't go to church anymore. Because if he went to one, someone else would say theirs was better than his. And this despite one going to a church with regular healing services. He said it like he accepted healing takes place without any question. Where is the love man?

The amazing thing was, he still gets up each morning at 3.30am to pray. Talk about early morning prayer meeting. This guy prays like the Koreans do! Even earlier. And he tries his best to practice what the bible says.

When he reached this part of his story, I wanted to tell him more, ask and probe but we'd reached Jurong West. So I paid him, thanked him and got off.

The main point was, a lack of love.

The gospel summarized in one word is love.

God is love.

Have been pondering over that. How important it is to miss the point. And like what Pastor Kong shared this morning on the Ephesus church. The people lost their first love. It was the loveless church.

Love precedes all else.

That's why common grace is what it is. Non-christians are creative, can have good families, because we're all created in the image of God. The proof of that? Love.

"Whoever has love has God." Aha.

So, gotta keep that in mind. Drinking from my 600ml Asia Conference Love Mug daily helps too.

Learn how holy God is in Leviticus

2010-02-27T12:19:00.003+08:00

Leviticus is such an interesting book really. As I said, I used to wondered even as I drifted off into sleep why they kept repeating themselves about offerings. Last night, upon close reading of the Bible, I realised what the offerings are all about.

So in Leviticus 1-10, there are instructions on the various kinds of offerings to be offered to God and how to prepare them. The 5 kinds are namely,
1. Burnt offering - For atonement, so that we can come into the presence of a holy God
2. Grain offering - To give a portion of our labour to God
3. Peace offering - An optional offering, for peace (with God? with self?)
4. Sin offering - To atone for sins of commission, things you did
5. Trespass offering (Restitution offering) -To atone for sins of omission, things you didn't do but should have

All have different functions. And that got me thinking. We often hear pastor preach that Jesus Christ was the sacrifice for all our sins, that we don't have to kill bulls or doves today.

But only 2 (or 3) out of the 5 offerings are related to sin. The grain offering and peace offering are not to atone for sin. And so I was wondering, if we don't have to give such offerings, literally, today, it means that Jesus also died for these in the new covenant.

But how to reconcile that? Does it mean that as Jesus died to set us free from our sins and forgive them that He also died to set us free from giving part of our labour to him and to stop giving peace offerings? Sounds a bit funny you must admit. Boggled my little mind a bit.

And I remembered Darren saying that Jesus' sacrifice was more than for our sins, its a ransom that was overpaid. Cos He was God. So then it hit me. Sometimes, you don't give offerings to God just for your sins, but because you just want to worship Him. Giving part of your labour, or a tithe, is form of worship. And more importantly, the only optional offering, the peace offering, is perhaps to have peace with God. But I don't know for sure.

The peace offerings that are given with thanksgiving was especially relevant. Reminds me of Philippians 4:6-9. Check it out.

I think the Old and New Testament are interesting. Because the New Testament doesn't necessarily negate the Old. Now, even though many know that Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament, yet many people are still wondering why is it that sometimes we follow what's in the Old Testament - the 10 Commandments, and sometimes we don't - Offerings, rituals, building of the tabernacle. And get themselves all twisted up. And in fact, there are cults formed where their main theology is on one particular aspect - e.g. Passover. I think the key word here is balance. And also to know the character of God.

Because God's character is the same, even though the expressions here on earth might change. We gotta seek to discover more of His character daily and emulate it.

I think it's amazing how things in the Bible are being rediscovered as we walk with God. Many people have issues with the prosperity gospel and argue about the theology of it. But the fact is that God is a Father, and if He is He gives. And I think it's great that people realise these truths in the Bible and apply them in their lives.

But let us examine the thinking behind this. I feel it's mainly because of tradition and bias that when something new is heard, it is rejected, even though people's experience might prove otherwise.

Just like the charismatic movement. I have seen people getting healed, I prayed for people and seen them healed, exercised the gifts of the Holy Spirit, had them exercised on me. It's awesome. Yet 200 years ago, this truth about the Holy Spirit perhaps wasn't discovered yet, and even till now, so many people reject these miracles.

Taxi drivers are interesting people. Once, one drove me to NUS from SOT and told me about how he was in pain, a serious illness that had long term pain. Prayed and was healed of it at a healing service held in a different church from his. He told his pastor and his pastor told him there was no such thing as healings today. It's only in the past. And this got the taxi driver really confused. Cos he experienced it himself, yet his pastor was contradicting him. But he's been with the church for the longest time, so he didn't want to leave it.

Point is, we gotta know the character of God. Instead of focusing on the outward things on earth. Then we'll know what to do.

On a separate note, this has been such a great week of release, breakthrough and power. Finally understand what it means when you say that prayer is a source of power. Gotta hear and obey. Acting on the promptings of the Holy Spirit, which come in prayer, make the Christian life so much more interesting. Gotta go now, more later.

Moses in Exodus

2010-02-25T21:16:00.003+08:00

Whew, it's been such a long time. I think writing is part of building my soul, and not writing causes it to be undernourished. So I shall endeavor to post up my revelations this year hopefully to inspire.

Been on a growth journey. A rollercoaster ride. Learning how to open up, keep self motivated and positive. Realised what it means when they say that the gospel is your life, not just a book. It's living out the living word.

So, revelation for this week is from Exodus. When I first became a Christian, I always fell asleep reading the Old Testament. Partly because it was hard to understand, partly because it kept repeating itself.

But now, 4 years later, I am amazed as I read Exodus 25 to 31 where God gives plenty of instructions to Moses on how to build the Tabernacle, on offerings and stuff. And what is most interesting is that beginning from Exodus 36 till 39, everything was repeated. The only difference here is that instead of God telling Moses what to do, here Moses was narrated as doing exactly what God had told him to do.

Word for word. I was reading Exodus 26 and 36 side by side and indeed every verse was repeated. Identically.

That tells me that Moses was one obedient person. Whatever he heard God tell him to do, he executed it with whatever he had been told. Check out the chapters for yourself and be amazed.

I gotta learn to be like Moses. To hear and obey. Real easy to say, real hard to do sometimes.

Cherry's wedding

2009-11-16T18:55:00.002+08:00

I went to Sentosa for Colin's and Cherry's wedding yesterday. It was an outdoor reception, by the sea and it was beautiful.

With a sunset backdrop, on the soft green lawn, with red and white roses decorating the entire place, it was quite a sight to behold. And the most amazing miracle was the fantastic weather.

Cherry said she'd prayed for months for good weather, and even Pastor Aries, in his sermon, commented that as God had created such a miracle start to the union, that they should continue this.

So good to see all the ministry leaders once more. And I think one of the highlights was the praise and worship. Not everyone was from church, and many seemed so serious, so halfway through the song 'Hold Me Close' the worship leader , 'Don't look so sad, this is a wedding!' and our entire table burst out laughing. Hahaha.

Another was our effective, fervent, specific prayers by 3 at our table. Halfway through dinner, it was starting to drizzle, so we followed what Elijah did and prayed. And it did stop raining.

3 weddings in a year, so fun, God'll really fulfill the desires of your heart, even insignificant ones. After missing my cousin's wedding last year for the trip, I hoped to be able to attend some. Haha, so God let me go for 3. How divine. Pauline's, Yuet Kuan's and Cherry's.

Recall an epiphany I had when Pastor Abraham spoke about marriage. It is a way for us to prepare us to understand mature love. How God loves us and to love him back. Like the bridegroom Jesus coming for his church the bride. How to know that?

Almost home now, been really cold the entire day from school to Raffles City and back home in this bus... Exams round the corner, time to hit the books.

Joy

2009-11-05T16:11:00.002+08:00

One of the things we prayed for our class today was for them to have joy. And almost immediately there was an effect. Everyone seemed more chirpy.

Joy is so important. It says the joy of the Lord is my strength. Joy gives strength. And it's so significant it's listed as the second fruit of the Spirit after love. Not happiness but joy. To find joy, gotta find the Lord, and where do we find the Lord? In the word of God and in prayer.

On my way home on the bus after some lab work where Molydenum pieces cut 4 out of my 10 fingers. Hope it doesn't happen again. Haha. Thankful to have a friend with a supply of plasters helping me out.

Radiate

2009-10-15T23:27:00.002+08:00

The song goes, "We will radiate, shining with your light and glory".

And indeed, we radiate. Maybe not visible light just yet, but we radiate infra-red radiation. Here's a science fact for ya: Any object that is above 0 Kelvin, in other words, anything that has heat, radiates in the infra-red wavelength. So we, us humans, we radiate!

I'm sure most army guys would know, looking through the night goggles, that only stuff that's hot can be seen.

And so, that's why we say that a person's smile is radiant. The light that is from within shines through!

I've been so interested in light recently. We are to be the light of this world, soldiers of light, we are to put on our armour of light.

Light came forth. And darkness did not comprehend it. The kingdom of heaven is full of light. One of my favourite lines are: "Arise, shine, for your light has come!"

So I believe, that in time to come, we will not only radiate infra-red, but we will literally be shining. Bright, a glory to behold:) Ever wondered why we are so fascinated with lights? With fireworks, with twinkling stars in the night sky, with pretty diamonds on velvet covers, with fireflies, with brilliantly lit Ion Orchard? It's so Bright, the Light!

Put on the armour of light. Our light can be dimmed. Ever wondered why Dementors are dark? Why depression is described as black? Why seasonal depression occurs? Why sad people isolate themselves? Gotta hang around the light. People of light. A coal burns long together, a single ember fizzles quickly.

The night is always darkest before dawn.

Let's put darkness behind us, our failures behind us, our depressions away from us, think positive, think upbeat, think upward, onward, forward. Shine!

Whee!

Word(s) in season

2009-09-26T20:23:00.002+08:00

First off, Pastor Kong really preached a word in season. Gotta make my word my bond. Only God knows how many times I've not done that.

Recently I've been listening to many sermons and read many books. Gotta learn continuously. Been thinking a lot about being fruitful, the glory of God among other stuff.

What I've gathered from the sermons is that "The secret to fruitfulness is travailing in prayer." And what are our fruits to be? To love one another. One of the easiest things to say, and hardest things to do sometimes. And I was reading John, it says every branch that is fruitful will be pruned. Have been pondering over that.

Each time I listen to a sermon, it feels like a weight is being lifted, a veil is being uncovered from my eyes.

Wanna share this - this life with the friends around me who don't have it yet.

And I realise also how important joy is. Joy is a driving force. Is a source of strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength.

Feel so happy now. Bubbly even:)

I think going forward, I need to remind myself that in the deepest valley, in the lowest funk, that after the thunderstorm, there will surely come the rainbow, bright sky and chirping birds.

Keep on confessing the positive! Our words is a source of tremendous power. Our words form our environment. It's a law. And a law will work even if we don't know it. Even without a person realising it, "I can do it!" declared a thousand times will make something happen.

Can't simply visualise it, gotta declare it. I gotta do more declaration prayers. Haha. And I gotta just be more vocal in general.

Awesome to have an awesome leader. What an awesome three weeks of hearing cell group messages and sermons that are just words in season. Thank God I've got great role models to model after. Gotta begin my journey of a thousand steps again. Word of God is so powerful, brings me through the weeks. Like honey to my lips. Even more than before.

Back to research on thin film solar cells for my lovely design project :D FYI: Did you know, if we harnessed the energy of the Sun for 1 hour, it can power the entire earth, get this - it can POWER the ENTIRE EARTH for an ENTIRE YEAR!

Think about that.

追求梦想

2009-09-21T12:37:00.003+08:00

看了耀珊的最新MV,突然发现梦想是可以实现的。

有时因为现实生活的压力，像一位好友玮轩分享过，梦想有时会离你而去。

但是，梦想是可以找回来的！

因为神的恩赐和选召是没有后悔的。 -罗马书11:29

要为梦想努力奋斗！

努力奋斗！

昨天讲到约拿，我能完全明白他的感受。牧师真的是太厉害了，从到祷告中能够感觉到会有们所经历的一切。灵觉太强了。我也要培养出这样的灵觉！

是大四的第七周了。放假了！真的要开始Plan。从开学到现在，真的是没好好的去做筹备工作。筹备什么呢？：）好多东西哦。

最近也学会了多多与领袖沟通。无法坦白的分享自己的困难，和在经历困难中的心情是我得弱点之一。有时没有话语能够表达出我的感受。或是因为缺乏练习吧。像在这一个月里，有时半夜起来，在心里面有极大的空虚，负担特别重。好难受。难受到我整夜翻来覆去，无法入睡。 “塑造我的心”应该这个意思吧。也不知道是为了何人何事。回想起来，应该是因为梦想无法实现而担忧。

因为我真的真的不想浪费我短短的人生。哈哈。很emo对吗？但是当负担交给神之后，就好了很多：）每天都需要这样做。我们的重担，不需要自己背，因为有了耶稣。因为神爱世人。神=爱。所以，我也需要全心爱神，热切爱人。我说所得到的爱，散播开来。

再次拿起梦想一起赛跑！

Holy Discontent

2009-08-31T10:50:00.004+08:00

Have you ever had a dream, or dreams, and it seemed so impossible to accomplish? I do. And I realised, that every time it gets clearer, but the way to get there doesn't quite. And then there's this in me, that cries out.

I guess we live in a world of instant gratification. Hungry? Grab some instant noodles. Cashless? Grab some instant cash from that ATM. Lonely? Power up the computer and do some instant messaging. Everything happens in the blink of an eye.

So to wait, sometimes, is pure agony.

So discontented at the way things are.

So expectant of the way things could be.

Yet, I remember once when we were praying, a friend said, we're like Moses in the wilderness. Cos we can't see the Promised Land yet, we might just give up on our dreams. But if God has promised, it will surely come to pass.

Gotta keep on trusting in the vision. Gotta continue believing in the promise. Gotta persist in praying for its fulfillment.

Begin to visualise, confess and act today!

Jiaxuan once said she heard a sermon that convinced her that sometimes God gives us such big dremas that would be next to impossible to accomplish without Him. How true.

I forgot how therapeutic blogging is :)

New week in school, new challenges ahead, new victories too! Let me plan well for the last third of this year, carry out the plans, but do direct my paths. Pastor Tan once said, "You can have anything, it just depends on how badly you want it." Einstein once said "Insanity is doing something the same way and expecting different results."

So Lord, I need the boldness and courage to do things differently so that I can fulfill your call.

Woke up with a voice in my head

2009-08-28T16:21:00.004+08:00

I woke up, got back to bed, woke up again, went back to bed again. Repeat that a couple of times. Embarrassing but true.

Then the last time I woke up, there was a voice in my head that went, "Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible.Read your Bible."

I was trying to figure out who it was, and I realised it was Pastor Bobby one session in SOT illustrating a point about the word of God. And I got up and went to read my Bible. Hate to jump, but went from Matthew, to Ezekiel, to Habbakuk and as I read, I got the most amazing stuff out of it. Even got mini-sermons prepared as I wrote down my revelations. Haha.

The power of repetition.

This was a good start to my day cos the entire week I felt like I was in some sort of strange wilderness experience, or some sort of storm where I was the only vessel, or a combination of both. Feelings and emotions wildly fluctuating. Never ever happened before. But then everyday, with God, it gets better. And after the overnight prayer meeting on Wednesday and last night, two different people spoke the same word into my life. Terrifically encouraging. "You who have been faithful the little, much will be added." Don't know what 'much' will be, I hope it will be what I am hoping it will be. But isn't God incredible? Two different people. One identical word. Gosh.

I tell everyone, the most important thing I got out of SOT wasn't the incredible amount of knowledge, information, and revelation given to mｅ. As I reread my notes, I still am amazed I managed to digest so much information to reproduce in the exams.

But instead, the most important thing, or things, I learnt, was to go back to the basics: Prayer + Reading the Bible. Always go back to the basics. Never fails.

Been a trying week for me. But praise God, it's Friday and I got through it! I now realise my problem, gotta have better time management, and project management skills. Even the humorous Pastor Mark Conner burnt out in 2002 for 6 months because of overwork. Like him, I find that I have so much I want to accomplish, but so little time, my table, like my thoughts are in a mess. Organization is in order:)

Time to draw up a SMARTER goal plan for Semester 7!

松一口气

2009-08-20T16:20:00.001+08:00

之从毕业之后，以开学到现在，真的是天天忙忙忙！今天终能松一口气。

送机，上课，补习，见教授，吃午饭，祷告会，到图书馆借书，看书，灵修，等等。谁知道从神学毕业后会呢么忙呢？

虽然如此，但是，我学要不断的祷告，靠神的话语，不断宣告他所赐给我的异象，梦想必定会实现！

顾牧师说，我们得交帐,所以要做一个多结果子的基督徒！

要依靠圣灵哦 - 必须要有认领的定义，也要有属灵生命的操练。

最近我一直祷告要有更多的智慧，也到祷告我能够听到圣灵对我说话。哈哈。就是因为如此，我最近一直想作从未作过的事。也不知道是圣灵的引导或是自己。但是总是觉得是圣灵。所以要祷告自己能有所罗门般的智慧！

我觉得这一次布道有一点不一样。或许现在我学会多多地依靠圣灵。诗颖，你要记得哦，万军之耶和华说，不是倚靠势力，不是倚靠才能，乃是倚靠我的灵方能成事。

但是，最重要的是用爱传福音。因为神就是爱。神 = 爱。要有爱就要有神。

让我们兴起，发光吧！

A Dad's Love

2009-07-20T15:08:00.000+08:00

A Dad's love is so sorely lacking in society. Asian or Western families alike. For too long love's been suppressed, hidden, muted, twisted, or warped. And consequently, a generation of loveless children have sought to fill that love void in every other place. In material possessions, wealth, through frienships, relationships, entertainment,, distracting themselves through games, busying themselves with work, school, activities.

Yet we still feel empty, yearning for something more, some love deeper than superficial love or lust. Desiring for a secure, an unconditional, father's love.

Personally, and I guess I speak for most people, I can't get it from my own dad. But it's alright, I don't blame him, I love him still. But I found an even greater love, a love that transformed my life, a love that many might not comprehend, but yet many have experienced, and I've experienced.

The love of God.

Recall your first crush. The first wave of hormonally chraged emotions races your heart. And your first relationship or a new deep friendship where secrets are openly shared, and acceptance flows freely. And then a long intimate marriage or sacrificial friendship that weathers the storms and ravages of time. All this I've found and more. It changed my life, is still changing my life.

The greatest love I've ever known.

Hello love.

Prayer

2009-07-18T20:21:00.000+08:00

Something common to all religions, and even to non-believers at times, is a desire to reach out to a higher being. To ask for help, seek, yearn and long for a God. Augustine once said that within all of us is a void that only God can fill.

Prayer is one of the ways to know God. To experience Him. Honestly, even as a 3.5 year old Christian, I still struggle to pray an hour a day. It's gotten easier, but when I'm tired, sometimes I yield not to God, but to my flesh.

But we're not perfect. None of us are. God knows that. Yet He still loves us. It's a beautiful love we've got. So we try again. But once we truly learn about prayer, like what I've learnt these past 5 days with Dr Joshua Hong from Korea; once we've learnt and practiced, and are immersed in such an atmosphere where the POWER of God moves. Ah, then we don't wanna stop praying. That's when you know you're praying the will of God and when you just know your prayers are heard and will be answered. Imagine that. Knowing ALL your intercessions and supplications will be answered. And I just learnt the meaning of those words this week. The former means praying for others, and the latter is praying for yourself.

Cool right:)

Well, gotta go, am almost at Elliot's place for his 21st BBQ. Cya!

The future

2009-07-14T01:57:00.000+08:00

Wow, it's 2am and I'm still up:) Two days in a row now. Kids, do not try this at home.

Just checked out Vanness Wu's new video, Listen to your heart. It's awesome man! His dancing is simply dope! Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkHYYBybsfM

Love the way it's produced too. Wonder how they have it in black and white yet have his hair in red still. Filters? Genius. Fantastic song to boot!

And after a night of thought and a day's worth of pondering, I realised that there's tremendous potential in Web 2.0

The full value of the Internet's not been realised yet. Especially now that videos make it easier for us to relate human-to-human. Human touch over the computer.

Think about it, what is the activity youths and even working adults spend significant time on? It's the Net. If I'm not wrong, some research has shown its up to 5 hours in cases. Like yours truly ;)

And let's ask ourselves, what's taken the world by storm these days?
Facebook
Twitter
Youtube
Google
Amazon
Myspace

Social networking sites, entertainment, and online stores.

Wow.

And this is but the beginning. I can think of so much more that we've not done yet. That's where I'd like to invest. The future.

But let's enjoy the present. That's the greatest present of all:)

Crystallisation - Perfect but useless

2009-07-08T07:30:00.001+08:00

Am in bus 186 right now, en route to SOT and I'm beaming with joy. Thankful. Learnt something important, that openness brings happiness. Thanks Lee Nam for demonstrating that:)

Just suddenly had a revelation after Pastor Tan talked about how adding water to crystals make them change state. Water is like the Holy Spirit. Once we're filled with water, our hard exterior comes apart, we're softened. We change. But we've gotta be careful. If the water leaves again, we can recrystallise.

Recrystallization forms the same crystal again, but we get an even purer crystals, imperfections dissolved away. Perhaps the Holy Spirit once touched us, and we yielded, and we became a better person, leading a Spirit filled life. But we let the water evaporate cos of complacency. We can be such good Christians, perhaps not living in sin. But what's the use of perfection if you don't have the life of the Spirit? You'd be hard, inert, resistant to change, all the while looking perfect and flawless like a diamond.

I'd rather be led by the Spirit, fully moisturised, no, fully at one with the Spirit. Like when you dissolve salt in water, I'd rather not be seen as perfect, cos I'm not perfect but I wanna be like sodium and chloride ions in water. But highly reactive, able to interact with others, form bonds with other people, other ions. And through forming bonds, help transform lives.

I pray I'll never lose the fire. My prayer each day shall be more of Jesus. A double portion daily. So hungry and thirsty for more.

Why all that on crystals? Cos I took an entire module and spent 4 months studying them in Year 2:)

Let me leave you with some last thoughts about crystals. All crystals have a regular structure, resulting in their high stability. It's the process of crystallisation, and what Dr Bernard taught last night, of institutionalisation, all that structure, the conformity, speaking Christianese that results in crystallisation.

And interesting enough, because they are so stable, they are also very hard. if you take a hammer and smash them, they'll become smaller crystals, but still stay in the same state. They have different degrees of hardness, from common salt, sodium chloride, to diamond, they can resist different degrees of impact. And the sad thing about diamonds, beautiful as they are, is this: they can never change. Water can dissolve sodium chloride, but what can dissolve diamonds? Nothing.

It would take only high heat and high pressure, perhaps found in the fiery furnace of a volcano to break apart a diamond. A baptism of fire.

But why subject yourself to such torture? Just yield to God today. Truly, let go, and let God begin to do a great work within you today.

Let us be always flowing, yielding and liquid; obedient to the higher forces that guide our path. For every action God wants to do in you, he requires an equal reaction from you. Newton's 3rd law!

Well that's a great start to a great day. My fresh manna for this awesome Wednesday morning. My musings in Engineer-speak. Feel free to engage me in cerebral talk, I'm more than happy. Cos what is true in the natural, all we see around us, is but a reflection, and is also true in the spiritual.

Yay. Reaching Pioneer station in a couple of minutes. Here's Rachel, signing off!

Thankful

2009-07-08T01:20:00.001+08:00

Only one word to describe how I feel now.

Thankful.

Thankful for God in redeeming me, placing me in such an awesome church. I pray I'll never lose my first love. Never stop pressing in for more.

Thankful for the people You've placed around me. My three moms that worry for me. Mummy, Pauline and Susanna. Will take excellent care of myself so you won't worry so much.

Thankful for cell members like Jieyun and Chris for sharing and shouldering the burden. Breakthrough is on it's way. The key is Persistence!

Thankful for my encouraging SOT team mates. You helped me discover faith in myself I never knew I had. All your radiant smiles and positive spirits lift me up each day. Spent an entire day with Lee Nam. Thanks for sharing your life with me. And Abigail. Ans Wei Hsuan. And Shiqi. And Tsai Yi. And everyone else. Eternally grateful.

Thankful for my family. With all its imperfections and quirks, still love ya. Tough love. Haha.

Thank you Jesus! Never wanna lose ya.

It's been a long day. Lungs are tired from coughing. Cough went away but resurrected during meeting. My three moms were right, should rest more. Shall listen to them. Get well soon Rachel.

Good night.

'And she lies back on her pillow, switching off her E63, easing into dreamland with a smile on her face.'

Best time of my life!

2009-07-04T20:50:00.000+08:00

Having the best time of my life now! Now I understand why SOT graduates tell everyone that they must go to SOT. It really expands your capacity. My first overnight prayer meeting really expanded my capacity like nobody's business. Slept the whole day away today. The 4 drug cocktail helped too.

It's really amazing to have friends the same age as you, and twice on fire for God as you. Was talking to Shiqi the yesterday and we commented on how true it was that by going to SOT, one would think that we'd reach a certain level of enthusiasm with God. But seeing others even more willing to serve, even more open to God, even more on fire, really humbles me. Wei Hsuan and Lee Nam from Taiwan are two such people.

The mission trip was a blast, and knowing me, that I'll probably not update, I'll just do a quick summary here. The best thing to do is to just go for one and you'll ginosko...

Wed night - Got on bus for 9 hour bus ride to Ayer Tawar. Cold bus journey but filled with warmth of 16 testimonies of how God touched and transformed 16 different lives. We shared and shared and shared. I could see the hand of God moving in each of our lives. Very touching.

Thu - Touched down at 6am, had breakfast, and almost immediately began working. Did 8 home visitations. Prayed for all of them, prayed for stroke victim and she began moving. Prayed for backslidden son and he came back that night. Was awesome! Pastor Mah Ai Bing fed us till we were stuffed.

Fri - Woke up, had buffet breakfast, and began visitations. Another 8. Sang, prayed, moved in the gifts of the Spirit. Was amazing. Never in my 3 years as a Christian have I prayed so much and moved in the gifts so much, esp word of wisdom and healing, and sang so much.

Sat - Fasted for deliverance service at night. Had morning exercise at 6.30-8.00am. Realised the people, though middle aged, were very, very fit. Led worship, was out of key but ppl were nonetheless encouraging. Will sign up for vocal classes soon. Awesome time, had 3 services which really stretched all of us. Acted as a teacher in one of the service - youth service.

Sun - Last day. Main service. I shared my well prepared testimony in Chinese. Was great! Translated for last youth workshop and it was simply hilarious. After a dinner feast, it was time to say goodbye. 10 hour bus ride back was eventful, talked a lot to Abigail, once just another SOT classmate, now a good friend I can confide in and vice versa.

Now to say that was just a snippet is an understatement. We did so much in 4 days that it felt like we spent 8 days there. Really got to know the people and to know the Holy Spirit too!

Go for a mission trip and you'll never regret it! God can move in signs and wonders if you allow him to. Just be willing and have a great attitude!

Love,
Rachel

P.S. Saving up to go to Korea with pastors in Jan 2010. Praying hard that I can save enough. Can't wait for that. My friend said it was life-transforming the way you see them pray... Whee!

JHR1799

2009-06-25T04:13:00.000+08:00

That's the liscense plate of our bus that carries 2 drivers and 16 excited bible school students from teams 9, 24 and 25.

Am starving right now cos it's been 8 hours since my chicken rice dinner and the bus is cold. Brrr...

But what a trip it's been! We've all been sharing our personal testimonies with one another, and be it simple or tragic, I am so moved by how God has touched, and can touch lives.

Shared mine in halting and then slightly more fluent Chinese. Back to sleep now:)

En route to setiawan!

2009-06-24T21:34:00.000+08:00

I'm currently on the bus to Setiawan, Malaysia. To Air Tawar Rhema Church for my first ever mission trip. Pastor just prayed in English and Wei Hsuan prayed in Chinese.

Was a bit nervous, but this morning during worship I just felt God speak to me, 'This will be a life transforming trip. Lives will be changed.'

Upon you word I stand. Back on Monday.

Wonders of technology

2009-06-23T18:45:00.000+08:00

Am currently blogging from my brand new Nokia E63 and I'm at Clarke Quay, Riverwalk now. This is pretty cool stuff. Made even cooler by the fact that I don't have to pay a cent to surf and for my new phone, new line and subscription. Thank you M1!

Haha.

It all begins with one person

2009-06-14T00:18:00.000+08:00

Change is coming! In the ministry, in the cell group, in my life!

Love it man!

After having the privilege to have a 2 hour conversation with someone really wise, that I can flow with, I've learnt some things:

1) Change always begins with one person with a desire to see positive transformation and a willing heart to carry it out.
2) Nothing is too impossible, too difficult or cannot be done.
3) Dream BIG dreams:)
4) Planning is crucial to success. 90% is in planning, 10% is in execution.
5) Great leadership determines if a group succeeds or fails.

Thank you for that awesome sharing. As I've freely been given, so I shall freely give.

Now, you gotta experience the stuff I have, to ginosko it, as pastor puts it. Ask me more. I've got a lack of time at hand to elaborate. Have a meal with me and I can begin to share with you too.

Now I realise why self-help books written in point form never work for me. I need details. Haha.

Cryptic entry this is - Yoda speak ;)

Shall blog in more detail about SOT once I get the chance to.

Rachel out.

Reminders :)

2009-05-22T00:32:00.000+08:00

Today I've been reminded of many things. 3 things in fact.

As Pastor Kong was teaching in SOT, I was reminded that I cannot be complacent. Right at the end, it just hit me. Gotta be more on the ball man. Can't be complacent.

#1 Cannot be complacent.

And also, what God has freely given to me, I gotta freely give to others. Revelations and insights, gifts and opportunities, what I have received, I can freely give. Gotta give. Indeed, I feel that it's truly not me, but God's grace when He heals someone I prayed for. God is good. I prayed for myself, my mom, Avany, Jie Yun, Pauline, Anna, Shi Qi's mom. Varying degrees of healings. But gotta persist. The time to flow is now.

#2 As you've freely received, freely give.

Unleash your creative spirit. Was reading Chapter 1 of "Unleashing Your God-Given Dreams" by Steve Munsey and the very first chapter blew me away. You gotta read this book man. I feel like I can do it again. Not by my own, but together with Jesus. Whatever vision God's given, whatever provision will be similarly given. What's your dreams? Begin to plan and pray, pray and plan.

#3 Go fulfil your God-Given Dreams Today! Begin doing so, cos it'll give you your vision for your future!

Whoohoo!

On a side note, American Idol was totally awesome man! Both Adam Lambert and Kris Allen are so very talented. And I was so surprised that Pastor Kong made of the winner during SOT too. Cool stuff :D Had interesting conversation with Lee Nam, my SOT mate from Taiwan/HK. Lookin' forward to tmr. Gotta pray for my sista man.

Cya around!

7 Things I've learnt/relearnt in SOT in the past 8 weeks

2009-05-18T23:07:00.001+08:00

1. God is not a religion, He is an experience.
You gotta experience him. How to do that? It's through prayer. Worship. Close your eyes and quieten your heart. Be still. God can be so tangible. A thick cloud. Desire to do so. It's as simple as that. Draw close to God and He'll draw close to you. Are you willing?

2. If you wanna lead people to Christ. Guide them there, don't force them.
You can bring sheep to the greenest pastures, but you can't force them to eat. Force-feeding never ever works. So just show them the way. It's up to each individual. Different ones are at different stages of their lives. Some just need a listening ear as they vent about lousy Christians, some just need a friendship with no ulterior motives, and then some are waiting for you to bring them to church. Listen to their spirits. Even God didn't force His will upon us, what more us? It's up to each individual to decide his/her own destiny. We can only try our very best to guide them, live our lives as good testimonies. That's the best we can do:)

3. Flow with the Spirit. In all areas.
Gotta flow with the Holy Spirit. In leading cell groups. In prayer for others, i.e. intercession. When you preach. In worshipping God in your quiet time. When a river encounters a block, an obstacle, it just flows around it. That's why you get meandering rivers. Not because the river is going against the flow of nature, but precisely because it follows the laws of nature. If the soil's hard, it's gotta flow where the soil's softer. Similarly, we gotta flow with the Spirit. If something doesn't work, try a different method, a different way. You can't break hard soil with water. You can't break a person's attitude or his heart if he doesn't want to be broken.Gotta flow around it. Don't stop the flow.

4. God is a creative God
Never limit God. Look around you where you are, in front of your desktop, your laptop, your iPhone, your iPod Touch, your Blackberry, your Nokia E63 or E71. Look around you. Take a hike, look outside your house. Open the windows, take a gulp of fresh air, or polluted air. God created everything! He is the Creator of all things. Wow! That blows me away man. From the intricate leaf vein pattern of a papaya tree leaf, to the innovativeness of the accelerometers in an iPod Touch, to the wonder of the millions of stars in the universe, as diamonds scattered in the velvety, inky night sky... Don't put God in a box. He'll use different methods, different people, different things every time. Don't let good, well meaning habits turn into rituals and traditions.

5. Persistence works.
Remember the widow and the unjust judge? Gotta be persistent to get what you want. What you need. In prayer. God is not an unjust judge, he is our just and loving heavenly Father. He'll give you what you ask for. Persist. In your work, in fulfilling your dreams. Persist. You know your rights, you know your potential, you know you will succeed cos with God all things are possible. Persist.

6. Many forget, but the blood of Jesus Christ has cleansed us from all our sins.
Easily forgotten or overlooked, this cornerstone of this Christian faith. We live by this. God because of This grace, forgave all our sins cos we're covered by the blood of Christ. We don't have to do anything any more to gain a single point with him. It's not about a competition to gain points like in basketball. 100 points and you get into heaven. 99 points and you're outta the game. Nope. When Jesus died, we're 100% righetousness. 100% as though we've not sinned. Prayer, fasting, all are tools to help us get closer to God.

7. The gospel = Jesus died on the cross, was buried, arose again on the 3rd day + Believe this in your heart + Confess this with your mouth.
Simple as that equation. Gospel = Fact + Beliving + Confessing

On a side note. I gotta learn to express my feelings better. Happiness. Sadness. Anger. Frustration. Helplessness. Love. Excitement. Compassion. Apathetic. Tiredness. Adrenaline-pumped. Wonder. Visions. Dreams. Hmm, dreams and visions, I've got a lot of those:)

A blog is a catharsis. But I'm finding real friends to share now:) Yay. A step at a time.

A step at a time.

Week 9 of SOT

2009-05-16T10:18:00.000+08:00

Whew! Exciting week it has been with all the mock cell groups. I think our team really grew closer. Haha some highlights include:

1) Our Team Leader Dorothea rocks. Must be hard managing all the admin and stuff. But she's really good.
2) Wei Hsuan aka Anita said I got eyes that are very gentle, in her own words, 很温柔的眼神. Wow! Never knew that.
3) Eugene our guitarist is awesome! He was dispatched to our group cos there was an absence of a guitarist but he bonded really well and worked really hard, playing 12 times for the 12 mock cells and that excludes the rehearsals. He probably played like 12 X 4 = 48 times this week. We love you Eugene!
4) All the testimonies really encouraged me. Very sincere ones too, not made up at all. I'm extremely inspired by the sacrifices our Taiwan friends made to come to SOT and the rest of the Singaporeans too.
5) We all had so much FUN! The evaluators were really amusing too. I cannot forget on the first day on the comment on Titus' eyes. Hahaha. Ask me about it and I might tell you:)

This week is also the week where we had a cell group prayer meeting which was very good. In addition, it was the first time in a long time I went for a ministry leaders meeting and came home at 12am. Haha, we gotta limit the time man. But it was very good.

The things you can do with a healthy body - Limitless!

Gotta get back to exercising beginning next week. I shall just walk on the track for starters.

Well well, gotta go back to reading the Harry Potter equivalent for SOT. Instead of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Price, we have Holy Spirit and the Spirit-Filled Believer! Judging from the length, it'd take about the same time to finish - 4 hours. But the latter is so much richer. Like a blackforest cake. Haha. So gotta take time to digest. Anyway, no more time to waste. Cya!

One Awesome Week After Exams

2009-05-15T00:20:00.000+08:00

It's been one week since my last paper ended. Feels a like it's been a month! Haha. Time slows down when you're having fun. It doesn't quite fly:)

Well, so I've been at mock cell groups and led worship on Tuesday and gave a word on Wednesday. Great stuff. Haha. We're all learning. Love my bilingual group man. They rock and are very encouraging. Here's a picture!

And I managed to brush up my translation skills in the past week since I've attended SOT full time after finals ended. Both ways, Chinese-English and English-Chinese.

Haha. Well, what have I been up with?

1) SOT and mock cell groups and reading Bible and books
2) Reading blogs, watching tv, movies
3) Doing up Attributes Get More on social networking sites
4) Checkin' out Jaeson Ma and VanNess Wu videos - Very inspiring!
5) Desiring to write my book. Gotta translate desire into my destiny Rachel!

Rachel out.

Part 1 - How to get rich & Part 2 - Books to read after exams

2009-05-07T00:07:00.000+08:00

Part 1 - How to get rich

My prof, who helmed GEM2501, Electrical Energy - Powering the New Millenium, mentioned a couple of ways to get rich.

1. Invent a wireless way to power instruments. Cos a lot of stuff still needs to be connected for most efficient use. Desktops, Fans, Aircons. Because of this they become "stuck" and not portable.

2. Invent a super long lasting battery/electrical energy storage. Best battery life for laptops hardly go beyond a day and handphones less than two days if you chat and text frequently. It doesn't have to be a battery, we learnt about flywheels etc.

3. Set up an organization and begin charging for clean air.

Start thinking and tell me about it :)

Part 2 - Books to read after exams

Here's a quick list of what I'd like to read after exams, in no particular order. Today Pst Ming said, we gotta have knowledge and wisdom. An absence of one of the two makes you a fool.

How to gain knowledge? Through books of course. Wish I could get my hands on a Kindle DX. Haha, but it'd be useless cos Singapore won't be able to purchase books and download them thru 3G cos Amazon's network doesn't cover us. Yet.

So here goes. Its colour coded by topic...

1. The Analects (Lunyu) - Confucius (In English and Chinese)
2. The Art of War - Sun Tzu (In English and Chinese)
3. The Book of Songs (Shijing) – translated by Arthur Waley
4. Dao De Jing – Lao Tzu
5. Strange Tales of Liao Zhai – Pu Songling
6. Records of the Grand Historian – Sima Qian, translated by Burton Watson
7. Intelligent Woman's guide to socialism, capitalism, sovietism and facism - George Bernard Shaw
8. The Communist Manifesto – Karl Marx
9. The Audacity of Hope - Barack Obama
10. Long Walk to Freedom - Nelson Mandela
11. Gandhi An Autobiography: The Story of My Experiments With Truth by Mohandas Karamchand (Mahatma) Gandhi
12. Presentation Zen - Garr Reynolds
13. The new rules of marketing and PR - David Scott
14. The Strategy and Tactics of Pricing – Thomas Nagle
15. Pour your heart into it: How Starbucks built a company a cup at a time - Howard Schultz
16. iCon Steve Jobs: The Greatest Second Act in the History of Business – Jeffrey Young
17. Information Anxiety 2 - Richard S Wurman
18. The Intelligent Investor - Ben Graham
19. Good to Great – Jim Collins
20. Hot, Flat and Crowded – Thomas Friedman
21. Complete collection of Sonnets - Shakespeare
22. Oedipus Rex - Sophocles
23. Marley and Me - Josh Grogan
24. All Quiet on the Western Front – Erich Maria Remarque
25. The Shack - William P. Young
26. The Accidental - Ali Smith
27. The Pilgrim's Progress – John Bunyan
28. The Moonstone - Wilkie Collins
29. The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison
30. The Creative Mind - Ulf Ekman
31. The Church of the Living God – Ulf Ekman
32. The Art of Prayer – Phil Pringle
33. Daughter of Destiny: Kathryn Kuhlman - Jamie Buckingham
34. A Glimpse into Glory - Kathryn Kuhlman
35. God's Generals - Roberts Liardon
36. Just as I am - Billy Graham
37. Holy Spirit, My Senior Partner - Yonggi Cho
38. Prayer that brings revival – Yonggi Cho
39. Smith Wigglesworth: Apostle of Faith - Stanley Howard Frodsham
40. Unleashing your God-Given Dreams - Steve Munsey
41. The God Delusion – Richard Dawkins
42. The Second World War: A Complete History – Martin Gilbert
43. The David Marshall Trials – Alex Josey
44. S Rajaratnam on Singapore – Kwa Chong Guan
45. Prophetic and Political – S. Rajaratnam
46. From Third World to First: The Singapore Story – Lee Kwan Yew
47. The Singapore Story – Lee Kuan Yew
48. A History of Singapore – C. M. Turnbull
49. Singapore: A Pictorial History – Gretchen Liu
50. Singapore: 500 Early Postcards – Cheah Jin Seng

Jehovah Rapha - You are God my Healer

2009-05-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

Haha, on Wednesday night, I originally wanted to title this post, "Rachel and her struggle with mycoplasma," but I was too tired to blog. But something happened on Thursday morning that completely changed my mind.

As Audrey and I rushed in at 8.40am, 5 minutes before class started to find Team 9, our team at SOT. When we sat down, my friend Avany waved to me to come over to her. So I put down my heavy backpack and did so. Haha, the most mind-blowing thing happened then!

So to give a bit of background, I've only attended SOT like 11 days since it first started (Got 8am NUS lectures mah). And on the second time I attended, we were learning about the Holy Spirit. Then halfway through, Pastor Derek told all of us to stand up and start praying. 2 minutes later, he told us to pray for our neighbours. And so I did. Just a general prayer and prophecy.

Avany then asked me to pray specifically for her back. So I did.

You'd think that a rush of power came into me, flowed from my head to my hands into her back. She was filled with a great warmth and fell under the power of God. The very next day, she went back to her oncologist and was declared to be miraculously healed.

Nope, nothing of that sort happened. In fact, I didn't feel anything at all. I prayed a most sincere and heartfelt prayer, ended with, "In Jesus name, amen," and that was it. And then I gave her a big, warm hug.

Two weeks later, she could barely recognized me as we'd only met for the second time. She grabbed my arm and asked, "Was it you who prayed for me the other day?" I nodded and she continued, "You know, before that, I felt acute pain in my back all the time, and every time I lay down on my bed to sleep. Now, I only feel pain when I lie down to go into the CT and MRI machines. I don't feel it anymore when I sleep at night. Thank you! Continue exercising this gift. It's a gift from God."

So I said "Praise the Lord! God is good!" It wasn't me who healed her, it was God through the Holy Spirit with the blood of Christ :)

And back to the present. So two days ago, in SOT, we met again and at 8.40am, we found Team 9 and she was waving for me to come over. She excitedly told me, "Yesterday, I went back to my doctor. Through the scans, they found out that one of my vertebrate had completely disintegrated and was pressing onto a nerve. That was the source of pain for the past 2 years. But when you prayed for me, the pain went away gradually. Day by day. And yesterday, the doctor said that if I had no pain, I didn't have to go back for treatment. This was a 180 degree turnaround cos I had to receive chemotherapy for the next couple of months. The next followup checkup is two weeks from now, and I'm believing God for a complete healing."

I was like, "Woah. Seriously? God is good man! Haha. Praise the Lord!"

And she was like, "Yes. God is good. Just wanted to tell you about it. Continue exercising this gift of yours."

:)

For myself, I also experienced the healing power of Jesus. As you know, I completely lost my voice as I had a severe mycoplasma infection. So for 5 days out of my 7 day MC, I had to communicate with my family with the use of a clipboard, some paper and a pen. Terrible stuff not being able to talk :( I could fully emphatize with the mute. Gotta do more to help them man. Tell you more plans next time.

In any case, even if I wanted to pray, I couldn't. Not even whisper. No voice. Zilch. Nada. And with my constant coughing that burst all my alveoli, it was hard to even breathe. Painful. So I texted Pauline, "How ah? I can't even pray cos I got completely no voice." Her reply made me happy, "Pray in your heart."

So I did. A 30-item prayer list I made that usually took me 30 minutes to go through, took a mere 5 minutes. Guess thinking prayers is a lot faster than saying them. Haha. Felt a bit unfulfilled though, but I prayed and then went to sleep after that.

And so I "prayed" by thinking my prayers out for 5-10 days before I got my voice back. And I continued whispering prayers after that for the next 10 days. And I continued with a weak voice praying for myself for the next 10 days. Whew. When I finally managed to go back to SOT and service, even standing up to sing, or even mouth the words made me completely breathless. Sacrifice of praise indeed. But God sees sacrifices :)

The difference between a miracle and healing is that miracles are instantaneous and healings take place over a period of time. Whether its 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months or 3 years. For me it was a couple of weeks, and Avany, a couple of years.

Of course God can use people, but he uses doctors, antibiotics and medicine to heal too. And now I'm fully recovered. Okay, not really, still on antibiotics as you can see:

Photo 1: Avelox to vanquish the mycoplasma, Celebrex to kill my pain - headaches, lymph nodes aches and Codipront to destroy the cough.

Photo 2: My three pills and a 600ml Love mug. Prescription as follows:
a) Avelox 400mg once a day (the pink one)
b) Celebrex 200mg, twice a day (the white capsule with yellow stripes)
c) Codipront 40mg, thrice a day (the half pink/half brown capsule)

Usually I spread them out. When I took all three at once on Thursday afternoon, it completely knocked me out for a couple of hours. Haha.

But the 3rd blood test that I'll take after my finals on 11 May 09 will show if I've fully recovered:)

Haha, my point being? Many people complain about how Benny Hinn is a fake, question why amputees don't pop out limbs at healing crusades, and tell us how healing has stopped with the apostles, and have a million questions in general about healing.

But I now know Jesus not just as my Saviour, cos I have experienced Him as Jehovah Rapha - God my Healer. Once you need it and when you've experienced it, it doesn't matter what people say. Cos you've got it. Got healed. God healed. That's what matters most.

By his stripes we are healed. - Isaiah 53:5

So stretch out your faith, friends, stretch out your arms and pray to receive this promise God has promised us through Jesus. Big sicknesses or small sicknesses, God will heal them all. Stir up your faith today!

Return of the mycoplasma!

2009-04-22T23:05:00.000+08:00

My doctor called me today.

Blood test's positive. You got twice as much as the last time. 1:320. The last time was 1:160. Normal person's ratio is 1:40.

Haha, so my mom said I was 8 times more infectious than before. What a sense of humour, my mom. Haha.

Anyway, the engineer that I am, I spotted a pattern! Yay me.

Got sick on 20 March 2009, Friday with a 38 degree fever. Saw a doctor, a GP, on Saturday, took some pills, got well.

1 week later.

Got sick on 29 March 2009, Sunday, with a 38 degree fever. Saw a doctor on Wednesday, 1 April 2009, diagnosed with mycoplasma. Blood test result came back on 2 April 2009 positive for it.

2 weeks later.

Finished my 2 week's worth of Klacid antibiotics.

1 week later.

Got sick on 19 April 2009 with 38 degree fever. Saw an ENT specialist on Monday, 20 April 2009 as mom was worried that I've not stopped coughing nor stopped getting fevers. Blood test result came back on 22 April 2009 as positive for mycoplasma again.

Yay! At least he managed to diagnose it.

One month I've been sick. This must be a record.

So the pattern is sick 1 week, got well, sick 2 weeks, got well, sick 1 week. Haha, amazing right. I wonder what kind of bacteria-virus this is that is not killed by antibiotics man. One strong fella.

So I'm heading to my specialist tmr. He's Dr Ignatius Mark. Really cool guy, explained all the medical jargon to my mom in Chinese! And it's really expensive too. Haha but I thank God the $86 X-Ray at Paragon showed that I've got no Tuberculosis or Pneumonia. Whee!

Okay, first paper tmr. Gotta sleep soon:)

And Pastor Aries said today that for 18 years, he's not seen a doctor! He gets sick, flu and fever, but he pops some Panadol, sleeps it off, and goes back to work again! No MC for the past 18 years. My role model!

Gotta start exercising to get fighting fit once I'm fully recovered:)

Our Generation Needs a New Revolution!

2009-04-21T20:35:00.000+08:00

Change is necessary. It is essential for continual growth. And every generation needs a new revolution.

Society faces problems. Whether its economic, moral, social, family problems, you name it, we face it.

And it is the selfish fool who refuses to be involved in public affairs.

Things need to be improved. And you can do it. Instead of sitting around complaining about what the Government has not done, step forward, offer some constructive concrete solutions, and carry them out!

Just do it!

:D

Work on your passion. It'll drive you. Don't be profit-driven. Be passion-driven. It'll sustain you. Work on the problems that break your heart.

Does seeing a hungry child go without food break your heart? Does looking at a single mom bringing her kid to the local charity to get some food to tide over the week break your heart? Does helping the 85 year old grandmother who stays in a one room flat who's kids abandoned her break your heart? Begin your work here.

Solving these problems need money. You can't deny that.

But I know someone who's empowered me to get wealth. Do you? We need money to solve many problems. So we need to know how to get wealth, not for ourselves, but to help society as well.

Which brings me to my next point.

Why would you want to create change, unless you've first been changed yourself? For me, it's God. I was once a far cry from who I am today. And where I am today, God's brought me here. Long story short, I've been changed. And after experiencing this transformational power, I want to empower others to help them help themselves.

I'd like to bring about positive change.

To have a Revolution :D

But first, you need to experience the transformational power of Christ. Have you? Do you know how to? I could share with you how over coffee :)Ya Kun or Starbucks, I'm up for it!

Experiential learning is key. Without the experience, all we have is just knowledge. Knowledge is important, but it doesn't bring about conviction.

Is what you're living for, the things you're doing a conviction or a preference? The former will last the distance, the latter you'll drop when it gets tough.

:D

Awesome stuff I've learnt today. All posted up there. Change. And Experiential Learning. Back to Organic Chemistry!

Dreams can come true

2009-04-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

Haha, even in the midst of exam preparations and my recurring illness, I managed to catch 3 YouTube video snippets from Britian's Got Talent. Susan Boyle, Shaheen Jafargholi and dance group Flawless. Awesome stuff. I love the dance group best.

As I watched, I felt so strongly that dreams CAN indeed come true.

So many times, as kids, we have the wildest dreams. I dreamt that I could one day be the first Singaporean astronaut, to drive a Ferrari, and more. But often, as we tell these dreams to others, they get shot down, trampled on, discarded on the roadside.

And it was until recently, this year in fact, that once again, with hopes renewed, with a renewed sense of purpose and vigour, that I began to pursue my dreams once more.

I am gonna write a book and publish it this year :)

Not sure exactly how's gonna be done, but I have a rough idea, and the greatest helper helping me, so that's enough for me.

So go ahead, dig deep within yourself. What was your greatest dream? Go ahead, begin dreaming again. Share with no one but yourself. And once its secure within you, share only with a trusted friend who'll not shoot you down. Maybe it could be me. I promise to try my best to encourage you and give some suggestions too:)

We don't need talent programmes to fulfil our dreams. Just need to be smart, know how to market yourself, groom a little, prepare a lot, pray like nobody's business, and just go ahead! You never know until you try!

Whee! Life is so exciting!

Existentialism

2009-04-16T06:01:00.000+08:00

Had my last Intro to Lit lecture yesterday morning. And what a morning it was, from 8-10am where we talked about Godot and the topic on meaninglessness and existentialism. Very intriguing.

A bit of background for those not in the loop - Existentialism, simply put, is the study or philosophy on the question, "Why do we exist?" That's my definition. I borrowed 3 books on it in from the extensive NUS library last week but have not gone around reading them.

So back to the question. Why do we exist? Is there a purpose for our lives? If not, what are we here for? Is it just to live and then to die? What's the point in that then?

:)

Tough questions.

I had an existential crisis in Secondary 4, nearing the O levels, where everyday was a study day and I was questioning my existence. Why do I have to study things that don't really matter to get a job next time? What's the point in that? Why am I even doing this when it's so pointless really?

Haha, amazing right. Even thought of ending it all. Thoughts are indeed powerful. But was too scared to. Haha. That's a good thing.

So philosophies bridge across centuries. Only now I find out that I thought like the great existentialist thinkers, Albert Camus, Jean-Paul Satre and more... Awesome stuff. Great minds think alike.

So Dr Gilbert Yeoh was saying, if you think about it, without God, there really is no point in life. Life is like in the play Waiting for Godot, full meaningless repetition of events and nothingness. Friendships, work, study, friendship, work, study, friendship, work, study... day after day after day after day, is really pretty repetitive and meaningless. We try our best to find meaning in these activities. But if we really stopped to think, we realise its all empty.

Yup.

But not now:) I have God. Life is full of meaning. I know exactly what my purpose in life is, and what I'm supposed to do with it. Part of it's gotta do with helping people, the another part of it is to fulfill my dreams. Have too many dreams to begin to talk about it:)

Life IS Meaningful.

I guess without transcendental meaning, life really is pretty meaningless. A long time ago, Solomon, the wisest guy in his time had an existential crisis too! Haha, surprising right? This guy who had 1000 concubines. Haha. In his words, "Everything is meaningless, completely meaningless. What do people get for all their hard work under the sun? " That's just the beginning of a very long monologue along the same thread.

But it's gotta a happy ending. He concludes by saying, "That's the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone's duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad"

Awesome stuff.

Shall read the books and let you know more man. Really good stuff. Thank God the Organic Chemistry Makeup Retest went well. Could sort of do 3 outta 4 questions. Haha. I will master it!

Cya!

On Leaders

2009-04-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

Susanna just called me and we had a short chat. I thank God for her man. Really do. Taught me so much in the past one year and was ever so patient with my multitude of mistakes and bloopers made, and also praised me for the awesome things done:)

Gotta be a leader like her. Haha, learnt so many organizational and people skills in my 2.5 years in Attributes that it really has been surreal:) From when I first stepped in, my very first Team Leader Cheryl, then Altona, Edmund, Serene, Eunice, Jayson, Robin and Susanna. Fantastic people they have there.

Well, just wanted to post some thoughts on leadership today after a fantastic Easter weekend. It was really a blast! Haha, awesome drama by the drama team and powerful preaching by Pastor Kong. And a great SME Fiesta! Haha, which brings me back to my main point today - leadership.

Even though I've been out of action for the past 3 weeks in Attributes, and for the next 3 weeks, but things have been running on smoothly, as far as I understand :) Thank you Jing Hong, Nian Ying, Sam and Shirley. You guys made it possible. And for you who've been covering me. Haha, thank God for all of you cos the doctor ordered a strict one month rest man.

So like Jesus, one of the greatest leaders around, I gotta lead my sheep with wisdom. Learn from the best. In every organization, the leader is the key to growth. The difference between Starbucks and Ya Kun Kaya Toast is that even though both have 2 decades behind them, they have very different leaders. One is not better than the other, but with both selling coffee, Howard Schultz brough Starbucks to become a international multimillion household name and Ya Kun is a profitable regional franchise. Different levels of leadership.

When an organization or a company grows beyond 300 people/employees, what is left is not more anointing or snazzy methods for growth in sales or otherwise, but strong, sustainable growth lies in great leadership. It's a skill. An art to master.

Relational skills. Counselling skills. Time management. Motivational skills. Effective communication. All these and more.

I learn something new on being a leader each day.

:)

What a change it has been. I was nominated and elected President of AVA Club in high school, President of I&E Club in JC and almost got elected Vice President in Toastmasters in NUS, which I escaped from. And all these years, no one taught me a shred of anything on how to lead effectively. Of course I failed. Leaders need mentors. They're mentored, never born. And how demoralized I was. Down in the dumps.

That's why when Eunice first told me Jayson wanted me to lead a subgroup in Attributes. My first reactions were - surprise, happiness followed by intense fear. Was afraid I wouldn't be able to live up to it.

But 3 years on, it's been awesome. Got my heart broken by members who left and more, but took Jayson's advice to heart. People come and go. Those who stay, whether they realise it or not, they're the committed ones. Pour your life into them, don't grief too much over those who've gone on to other things.

:)

Great leaders are mentored. Never born.

Rest

2009-04-05T12:53:00.000+08:00

I think I learnt something about rest in the past 5 days that I've been confined to home. Here's a definition of rest from freedictionary.com and some verses from the Bible.

I guess in my busy study and work schedule, I must always find time to factor in rest. After all, like what the wise Dr Kim said, if God rested on the 7th day. Are you better than God not to rest?

Haha. Yep. And resting means really setting aside time to refresh my soul. Through books, music, TV, etc. Cos like my mom always says, making money is not important, if you don't have your health, no amount of money made can ever be enjoyed.

So have a look:

Definition of rest

1. Cessation of work, exertion, or activity.

2. Peace, ease, or refreshment resulting from sleep or the cessation of an activity.

3. Sleep or quiet relaxation.

4. The repose of death: eternal rest.

5. Relief or freedom from disquiet or disturbance.

6. Mental or emotional tranquillity.

7. Termination or absence of motion.

8. Music
a. An interval of silence corresponding to one of the possible time values within a measure.

b. The mark or symbol indicating such a pause and its length.

9. A short pause in a line of poetry; a caesura.

10. A device used as a support: a back rest.

Retrieved from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rest

Verses from the Bible that talks about rest

Genesis 2:2 And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.

Exodus 31:17 It is a sign between Me and the children of Israel forever; for in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, and on the seventh day He rested and was refreshed.’”

Isaiah 30:15 For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel: “ In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”

Mark 6:31 And He said to them, “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.

Luke 23:56 Then they returned and prepared spices and fragrant oils. And they rested on the Sabbath according to the commandment.

Hebrews 4:4 For He has spoken in a certain place of the seventh day in this way: “And God rested on the seventh day from all His works”

Retrieved from http://www.biblegateway.com/

On reading

2009-04-03T02:34:00.000+08:00

Just finished a book and I just thought I'd squeeze in a short entry on reading.

I used to read a lot as a kid, always headed for the library in primary school after class to borrow a storybook a day to complete my Reading Card. If I completed 60 books, I'd get a Reading Owl Pin. I never got to 60 though :( Exams always got in the way. And by the time the semester was over, we had to start from square one with a brand new Reading Card. But still, I enjoyed my days in the cosy Pasir Ris Primary Library.

Haha, and as I progressed on to high school, my appetite for reading was voracious. The Nanyang Library was really well stocked with both English and Chinese books. And the best part was, up from a limit of 1 in primary school, I now had a loan limit of 4. Coolness.

But in JC and University, the books I read were now limited to very serious and very factual Textbooks. Nothing wrong with that, but I longed to read. But had no time to.

Fast forward to 2008. I was in a meeting of ministry leaders at Attributes when Robin brought up the topic on Reading. I asked him, "How do I buy books to read if I can't afford them?" And his answer astounded me.

He said that buying books is an investment. Books contain the wisdom of the world. A personal library is a treasure trove. Before he became a Christian, he read a lot, and after he did, he began to read even more. And if you can't afford it, remember this, every book you buy sows a seed into your life, you'll reap back what you sow. No doubt about it.

And so I began saving up and buying and reading. And how much I have grown as I learnt and absorbed from them.

Finally, I'd just like to point out that the 3 men I look up to read a lot. Like A LOT. As a result, it is not surprising that Pastor Kong, Pastor Tan and Robin are one of the wisest people around. For the first two, their wisdom comes forth in their sermons. Many don't know that they use a lot of material from books. And whenever I sit in a meeting with Robin, I never fail to be awe-struck by his revelations and wise answers. Reminds me of Solomon man.

Just to point out, everytime I listen to a sermon by the pastors (try podcasting), they are always recommending books. Information Anxiety (Pst Kong 1997), The Pilgrim's Progress (Pst Kong 2000), Christ the Lord (Pst Kong 2006/2007), His Needs/Her Needs (Pst Kong 2008), The Tipping Point (Pst Tan 2008), Built to Last (Pst Tan 2008). And the list goes on. You get my point. They don't say it explicitly, but it is clear that once you graduate from university, to continue learning and growing, you got to keep reading.

Yup so read more my friends, read more :) It's an investment you'll never regret.

Start of a New Month

2009-04-02T11:32:00.000+08:00

Wow. What a blast the past 3 days have been. Big things after Big things have been happening. Here's a snapshot.

1. Prayer and SOT
Its the start of a week-long prayer again :) Looked forward to it cos the last one brought about fulfillment of one prayer item in the book and many ideas. To be more specific, after praying for a week in Feb, my mom let me go SOT and it was then that I got my idea for Seltzer @ NUS.

And indeed, when I went for the first day of prayer on Tues and SOT after, it was awesome. Very tiring cos of my non-padded Charles and Keith shoes in the one and a half hour worship, but very good still. And after that, the ideas kept coming in. One after another after another after another. God is good.

2. Information Overload
Immediately after Tues morn, everything started to become clearer again. When I attend classes, I see the relevance of what I am learning (I don't usually. Its hard to find relevance in Organic Chemistry.) But I did. I keep getting new ideas in class just like last time. Like the start of the semester. Love it.

It was like a river was flowing man. Nonstop, I have to make an effort to clear my mind before I sleep if not I can't. Haha, luckily for me I got my Yellow Idea Book to jot it all down.

3. Got Mycoplasma
Sick again. A characteristic of this illness is getting well, and falling sick a few days after. Haha, so my dear Doc yesterday night gave me a strict 3 day MC, to go nowhere. Cos its highly infectious.

I really thank God I stay in Singapore. Cos

a. I got access to awesome doctors. He diagnosed me within 3 minutes man. If you're ill, super experienced Dr Frederick Goh, is at Farrer Road, Carrington Medical Centre. Where else in the world can you do a blood test at 8pm, get Klacid and stuff all at $70? Awesome stuff. After falling ill in Indonesia, I really appreciate my country. If I weren't sick, I might just kiss the ground.

b. Techonology. Thank God for cheap sms and free emails and broadband access. Nian Ying said in America, 10 sms would cost you US$8, correct me if I'm wrong, but I love Singapore even though I think Singtel can treat me better:)

4. SME Fiesta 2009!
Might just get a booth or two. Still waiting for news. If not, its okay too. Can focus on my 13 Chapter Organic Chemistry Retest on 15 April. Alkyls, Alkanes, Alkenes, Alkynes, here I come!

5. Study girl
My first priority right now is that of a student. Gotta fulfill my purpose as a student.

First Quarter Report

2009-03-28T16:45:00.000+08:00

Whew. 10 weeks have passed and we're now counting down to the exams. Its fast man. And I still need to catch up on Organic Chemistry which I will do for the rest of the Saturday.

Seems like a conversation can trigger a lot of blog posts judging from the blogsphere. :) Well, to be honest, I originally created this so that I could record down my revelations in class. Really interesting stuff happens in engineering class that any layman can appreciate really. And there were so many at the start of Semester 6, but I stopped blogging. Wonder why.

Its addictive really, and I also wanted to post on my book review blog, and then I wonder what happened to that too.

Gotta slow down my life a bit I guess :) Love this Saturday afternoon. I just came back not long ago from CityNews Training and visiting Christine at SGH. SGH is an interesting place.

Well well, gotta go again. Maybe I'll post something thought-provoking and insightful the next time.

Soon, I hope.

Maybe in iambic pentameter :)

3. "What Did I Learn?"

2009-01-06T15:42:00.000+08:00

Look back over your answers to the first two questions.

Look at your accomplishments. What can you learn from them? What possible lessons do you see? What were some of the keys to your success? What worked for you? Why were you able to accomplish these things?

1) Knowledge is power. Planning in advance, studying hard, and a looming Asia Conference will have great improvement in motivation and grades. I shall study hard this semester too.

2) Reading opens up my eyes to the experiences of experts to things and situations I'd otherwise have to learn the hard way. So does travelling. So gotta read and find ways to travel more.

3) Budgeting makes lots of sense. You can see where all the money goes to and plan accordingly.

4) Relationships matter. Building them matter too. Be it in cell group, family, ministry, school, project groups and so on. Everywhere, everyone matters. Communication matters too.

Now look over your answers to the second question - your disappointments. Any lessons there for you? What could have worked but didn't? Why? Is there anything you need to do differently this year based on your reflections? What advice do you have for yourself?

1) Study harder. Find a motivation.

2) People who left are painful, I can't make choices for others, but I can change the way I communicate/express care for others.

3) Review New Year Goals often, so won't let motivational fire of January die down. Follow through my goals.

By taking time to examine your own life and your own journey you can gain wisdom for the future. After all, life is like your classroom. Be a good learner. Don't repeat the same lessons over and over unnecessarily. Live and learn. Turn your lessons into some personal guidelines for your future.

2. "What Were My Biggest Disappointments?"

2009-01-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

I know this is a bit like reviewing the bad news but it's an important step to take.

Pick up your pen and write them all down. Recall the times you disappointed yourself. Remember the times when others disappointed you. What dreams didn't come true? What expectations weren't fulfilled? What unexpected grief or trauma did you encounter? What didn't you get around to doing that you really wanted to do? Where did you fail?

Taking time to think about what happened is important. Tell the truth to yourself and acknowledge your hurt and pain ... and don't worry if this list is a little longer than the list you made in answer to yesterday's question! That's okay.

None of us can avoid disappointments. They are a normal part of life.

1) Didn't write my book I wanted to.

2) Didn't get my CAP desired.

3) Saw many members leave.

4) Christmas

5) Didn't see through new year goals.

6) Trauma too painful to recall. Haha. That's all folks.

Look over your list again. Reflect on each item.

Then ask God to help you do three things with each one: (1) forgive (yourself or others), (2) forget (it's over now so try to move on from it), and (3) learn from it (take some lessons from it into your future).

You may want to share these things with a safe friend who can help you process them or even a counsellor, especially if there is a lot of pain still associated with anything on your list.

Question #1 - "What Did I Accomplish?"

2009-01-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

Let's begin with some good news ...

Take a piece of paper and write everything down that comes to your mind - what you did, what you got through, changes made, situations endured, jobs done, family experiences, work or school accomplishments, friendships, hobbies, new things learned, spiritual growth, etc.

Find some achievements to celebrate. It creates fresh motivation for the future. It's easy to focus so much on what we haven't done that we easily miss what we have done! Brain storm and make as big a list as you can ... then stop and reflect for a moment. It's okay to praise and appreciate yourself ... at least for a few moments.

Well done!

Hmm...

1) Got through the year, pulled my grades up in Semester 5 :) Go me.

2) Got promoted to Section I/C in my ministry. Learnt a lot on leadership from mentors. Thank you Susanna, Jayson, Robin.

3) Learnt to communicate with sister better.

4) Got through another relapse.

5) Learnt a lot about R&D stuff from 3 month VIP with IMRE that seemed like eons ago. Thank you Dr Hopley and Dr Sergey. It was great fun :)

6) Bought and read a lot of books. A Lot. Must thank Robin and Jayson for their encouragement in the beginning of the year.

7) Strengthened and deepened friendships, in school and otherwise.

8) Joined CityNews and wrote some articles.

9) Changed way of thinking. Learnt to be more accepting, more forgiving, more loving, more positive.

10) Saved up over 6 months and went to Surabaya to help out Dorkas Orphanage. It was a once-in-a-lifetime, eye-opening experience. Didn't know the rooming arrangements till the day we flew. I slept in the same room with Pauline for 10 days. Haha.

11) Got to know cell group more. Anna and Jie Yun.

12) Gave one year's worth of physics tuition to Ah Hyun. And her grades improved tremendously, from failing to top scorer in class. Kudos go to her for her intellect, I provided guidance and mentoring. Whee.

13) Attended most of Bible study classes. Asia Conference rocks. Now though, feeling a little like Job. But we all know how it ends. Restored double portion of what he had :)

14) Did a project with four others. I think we rocked. Go Lib, Bert, Thet, Gid!

15) Got more organized. Started doing budgets for my income.

16) Started to learn to THINK BIG!

Passed the halfway mark!

2008-11-26T22:44:00.001+08:00

3 down, 3 to go!

The engineer takes out some time to collect and pen down her thoughts.

In Degradation and Failure of Materials, aka Corrosion, I learnt that almost everything will break down. That’s mainly because everything is impure. Even stainless steel corrodes due to sulphur inclusions on its surface. One of the few materials I know that don’t corrode is gold. Pure gold. I remember from the Bible that, we’ll be refined in hot fire, all the dross taken away. There you go. Pure stuff don’t break down.

From Polymeric and Composite Materials, I learnt that most polymers are semi-crystalline. A mix of amorphous and crystalline stuff. We need both order and disorder in our lives too man. Creativity and rules in the same amounts. Both support instead of inhibiting each other. Right and left brain.

That’s all for now folks.

(The Asia Conference rocked my socks. Still absorbing and rereading notes from the 5 awesome days. It was just a week ago and seemed like a long time ago. Haha. And I realised that a BIG conference like that made me study really hard way before the study break.)

Birthday speech

2008-11-12T10:19:00.001+08:00

Yet to be eloquent in speech, so here's my speech that was to be.

On my 21st birthday, I'd like to thank a few people who've made a difference in my life.

First off, my mom and dad who brought me up all these 21 years of my life. It was not easy, I'm not the most easy child to get a long with, but this is committment, this love they have for me, even though we don't quite speak the same love language yet. Love you mom and dad.

I'd like to thank my sister, and am very grateful for all her birthday gifts and for organizing the party. It was quite a blast.

I'd like to thank the leaders placed in my life. Pauline, Jayson, Cheryl and Susanna. They've shown me what true leadership is. Unwavering, faithful, dedicated service to people. They've shaped my character, corrected my errors and moulded me into who I am today, all within the past 2 and 3 years of my life.

I'd like to thank my cell group members who've always been with me, their prayers, their friendship is one that I am grateful for. Cell group never fails to give me renewed strength and vigour.

I'd like to thank Jie Yun and Jacqueline for believing in me and encouraging me since the day I knew you guys. You are the red-hot burning coals beside me that keeps the fire alive. And Christopher for his encouraging calls and prayers week after week. You guys rock. You know, whenever I feel down, it really is the people around me, your faith and love that keeps me going. For believing in me when I didn't believe in myself.

I'd like to thank my ministry and all the friendships formed. Thank you Kgoon Liang, Geraldine, Eunice, Issac, Wen Yi, Angeline, James, Edmund and many more and my birthday ICs Sam and Kathrina for all the joy, laughter and love together. The long nights during meetings, hard work and sacrifice for all the big events, during Easter, the Smashing Sale, guest speakers, shifts to Hall 1 and back to Hall 8 were memorable and not easily forgotten.

Thank you for the team of dedicated members in Sunday Retail B serving hard week after alternate week.

Thank you for my relatives who've been so supportive throughout the years in good times and bad. My aunts and uncles really rock. Thank you for the catering and for the function room you loaned us.

A special thanks to my university classmates who've made my life that much more interesting in Materials Science and Engineering. For my 2 lovely lab partners, Hui Kai and Richmond who burned much midnight oil and we sure had much fun and tears doing all those lab reports and vivas.

Finally, I'd like to thank God for his love that is so great. Joy that keeps me alive. And peace that calms my anxious heart. Thank you for the trials and storms that shaped me. Thank you for this blessed life.

Yielding

2008-11-03T23:29:00.000+08:00

In metallic materials, we learn that metals have a yielding point. Or when elastic region becomes plastic. Simply speaking, if we take a stainless steel metal ruler, we can bend it, and it'll regain its original shape. But bend it too much, and you'll have permanent deformation. But it doesn't quite crack. It yields. Simply bend it back, and it'll be harder than ever with strain hardening, as dislocations all throughout the metal reinforces it. Yielding brings strengthening.

Contrast this to a solid steel bar. It can withstand tonnes and tonnes of loads without any sign of strain. But just 1 gram more, we see a tiny crack rapidly propagating. Eventually, the whole steel bar fractures in a matter of milliseconds. It fails.

Gotta be yielding man. No one man is an island. No one man can hold the weight of the world on his/her shoulders and not buckle under that immense pressure. Gotta be yielding. Yielding to let others help. Yielding to God, to the Holy Spirit. Let the supernatural power flow in your life, and you'll come out stronger than ever.

All we yearn for greatness cos we're made to be great!

As Joanne said, the study of engineering makes a person write in the above manner. Lol.

Thoughts from Magnetic Materials

2008-10-25T23:35:00.000+08:00

In MLE3105, on a Magnetic Materials lecture on an early Thursday morning, I burst out in laughter. What happened was this, with me paraphrasing from memory:

Prof Gong: Here we see a model describing the magnetic moment of an atom. However, it is a very simplified model. It only considers the orbital angular momentum and spin angular momentum. Many scientists are working on additional models to completely describe the atom. Do you know what is the correct model?

The class waits in expectant silence, cracking our brains to figure out if any famous scientist got the answer. We wait a few moments longer, wondering what he would say.

Prof Gong: The answer is. I don't know.

And then I burst out in laughter. :)

He elaborated that many people have gone on to describe the magnetic moment of an atom, but none have got it completely right. Including him. It is incredibly complicated. Some have gone on to invent outlandish models that probably do not work.

His conclusion is that because us humans try to rationalize too much, we keep on wanting to explain things. But everything is very complex in essence. Hence, we can only make simplified assumptions.

And so I was reading a book by Lee Strobel which illustrated the above as well. Too many people make too many assumptions in our limited, three dimensional minds about a fourth dimensional God. The Case for a Creator. Haha. More on it another time.

But some food for thought. The Big Bang theory is accepted by most students to be true. And increasing scientific evidence does show that it did happen. What most people don't go on to realise is that if something came out of nothing, a Creator must have been behind it. Even atheist Kai Nielsen said "Suppose you suddenly hear a loud bang ... and you ask me, 'What made that bang?' And I reply, 'Nothing, it just happened.' You would not accept that."

Finding needs and meeting them

2008-10-21T00:36:00.000+08:00

In Materials Design and Selection, the most important lesson I learnt was to identify needs of a consumer and meet the needs. In the process, we gotta translate technical concepts into a product for the user.

Seems so much like what I've learnt in church. To find needs and to meet it. To be the bridge. The door between the living and dead.

That's what we've gotta do. To find new ways to serve as the link between the church and the world. In all areas of society. Arts and Entertainment. Family. Business. Education. Politics.

Identify needs
Translate into an action plan
Identify constraints
Identify objective
Suggest the optimal solution
Modify if necessary

One of the most useful modules I've ever taken.

Back to lab reporting.

On mindsets

2008-10-18T23:43:00.000+08:00

We've really gotta change our mindsets. We are indeed all one mindset away from our breakthroughs.

When prompted in our spirit, let's just go ahead with making a choice. Any choice. Even if it brings pain. Because stagnant waters breed mosquitoes. You don't want mosquitoes to grow in you do you?

Make a choice.

Believe it is possible.

Stay active, not passive.

Don't worry, be happy:)

Let's not get stuck in our old ways, old thinking any longer. Leave it to sticky tape to get stuck. Let's get a move on man! Dissolve all the old thinking. Discard, rip off, fling off your old thoughts, old clothes, old ideas and get a move on!

Now is the time to CREATE!

God Created. He is an Engineer. Let's be like him.

On rebonding machines

2008-10-17T00:06:00.000+08:00

I wonder if the inventor of the heat and chemical treatments for the rebonding process actually sat through the entire thing before selling it. It is a torture not unlike that found in a dental clinic.

Hot, painful and smelly it was an experience of a lifetime that I'll not be putting myself through anytime soon. I don't know if the sulphur/chlorine stench is worse or the lack of knowledge of the stylist on the chemicals used.

Ah well.

But on to something more positive. There exists then, an unexplored demand for fragrant, comfortable, and quick rebonding techniques then. Whoever invents that, or has invented that, if marketed properly, will sell well.

You go inventor. Please contact me if you're interested to franchise, because I am. Gosh. You know, rain or shine, boom or bust, everyone needs to look good. So there.